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Want another baby

3 replies

akmum18 · 17/06/2018 22:16

Hi, just feeling a bit low and hoping someone here can advise what to do. I’m a single mum of 2 children, it didn’t work out with their dad he didn’t want more children I did and we just didn’t get on very well in the end. He decided to leave and shortly after met someone else and had 3 more children. As you can imagine it was a huge slap in the face being told no more children for him to have them with someone else. I never met anyone else as I don’t get a chance to go out and socialise, I feel like my chance of having more children is ruined. I have some health issues so I’m not even sure I can conceive again but I feel my choice was taken from me anyway and it hurts a lot. To meet a new man and settle and consider more children would take several years and the clock is ticking for me. All i think about is having another baby, I can’t imagine never being pregnant or holding a newborn in my arms. I was born to be a mum and always wanted a big family. The children I have are of course perfect to me and I love them with all my heart if I truly couldn’t have more I would be content with them, however the longing for more is always with me. Friends and family are having children and it breaks my heart I struggle to hide my jealously and wish it was me. I have read about my options of sperm Doners or adoption, but I want to do this with a man I love and can share it with I would feel very lonely bringing a baby into the world as a single parent. This isn’t about my relationship with my ex at all if it sounds that way I have no feelings for him this is genuinely about my longing for another child. My doubts make me feel guilty towards my children as it may take away from them, resentment from having different dads, less money and quality time, I just feel confused by it all and if I would be doing the right thing. What would you do if you were me? I’d appreciate any advice. Thanks

OP posts:
Kingsclerelass · 22/06/2018 12:54

No advice really except that I was one of 5 and there was never enough money, space, attention, time, support ..... with the result that we as siblings are not close to each other at all.
Sometimes having more time to spend on each child is a way to be a better mum.

Having said that, I only have one and I really wish he had a sibling. I’m too old now. Sad

Waitingonasmiley42 · 22/06/2018 13:04

I understand that longing for another child and how desperate it can make you feel.

How old are you? Do you work? I suppose if you are mid thirties there’s still a chance you could meet someone and have more children. If you are early forties it’s probably unlikely. Three children is a lot to support financially and childcare would be very high. That’s worth taking into account when you think about more children.

MrBeanTeddy · 22/06/2018 13:05

I'm one of 6, my youngest siblings don't get half of what I had as a child.

However that's life, they understand their father doesn't earn what my father did.

I get exactly how you feel, I've considered Co-Parenting so I don't have to go through the whole meeting and discussing kids thing.

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