Constant breaches of order

[Hbo22]

Hi all. Has anyone here with a child arrangements order taken breaches further? It is constant. Our order is from 9am Friday's until 6pm Saturday's, he stuck to this for a few months then said he was working Friday's and he would sort the nursery for the additional day. He arranged for our child to go but onlypaid one invoice then created a grands worth of debt, I am now having to pay for Friday's to ensure I have childcare even though ex is liable for Friday. Every Saturday he turns up early. When I haven't been in early hes turned up to my family's unannounced and dropped child there. He makes excuses to not have child some Friday night's at all and goes out drinking to which I have texts from him saying he's not sober enough to drive the following day etc. He constantly tries to turn it on to me saying I don't want him to have contact but it is him that doesn't collect child.

A child arrangements order states that the RP (you) needs to make the child / children available for contact. He doesn’t have to adhere to that. Unfair I know, but that’s how it is. It will only be enforced if you don’t make the child / children available for the contact times stated.

I wonder if he loves the drama of it all .

You need to remove any emotion from communication.

If he messages saying can’t collect Friday . Ok . Drops child back early make a note of time .

If he says you are stopping contact don’t even respond .

He is either going to step up or not . If he is doing it to simply inconvenience you then if he thinks he isn’t he will have to focus on contact

As others have said, weirdly he is not in breach of the order by not having them when he is supposed to. It makes him a crap dad, but it doesn't make him in breach!

However, he is causing you big problems, including extra financial costs. I would therefore suggest that you send him a letter or email, advising him that since he has established a consistent pattern of not taking the child during his contact time, unless he starts to adhere to the agreed pattern, you will apply to the court for a revision to the order to remove the Friday nights. Explain that this is because you need predictability in order to manage your commitments. If he wishes to start adhering to the order, that is fine with you, but if he doesn't then you will make the application.

Then start keeping records of missed days. I'd suggest giving it a couple of months, at least, after writing in order to establish a pattern that has been maintained despite the warning. Then apply to court.

As others have said. As a resident parent the non resident parent can request enforcement of the order if you fail to make the children available, as per the order.. it can't happen the other way round as it's not considered appropriate for a NRP to be forced to see their child. (weird I know, but the law)