Bitterness

[NGC2017]

I dont even know if that is the right word but I just feel so deflated.

I have a lovely life. The most wonderful son and dog. But they are the reason I am happy and love my life.
The reality is we struggle, not that my son would have any clue. But we do. We were left in huge debt by my sons dad who chose another woman over being in his son's life, and I was in no way going to beg him (though I did for a long time as I felt my son deserved it). When I stopped asking and he made no effort that was all I needed to believe my son deserved a million times better than him. We never go out or do anything. And again my son just loves being with my so he doesnt care. But I do feel guilty.
I detached alot better than I thought when I finally accepted what he was. But lately I cant help but feel bitter which i've never really felt before. His dad now has a new son, who of course is his life. Regular holidays, flying lessions and flash lifestyle, going out and taking his son. Going on and on about how he is a family man and family is everything. It doesnt help that the CMS believe he only earns £18,000 a year but his working on the side and just paid for a very expensive license. That and this year his employer has paid maintenance so erratically I dont know where we stand. This upsets me as it affects my son. I cant work any more hours but I feel like I am failing him. The CMS arent helping me and the MP has had to step in again.

I just feel really down about the control he still has over us :(

Get yourself a solicitor to write to him and let him know that you expect child support and all back payments.
Would you be able to put a lien on the house, for all back payments.
Once he have paid up, you need to let go and move on. Having all this bitterness is not going to help me.
If he is part of your FB friends, unfriend him.
Do what is necessary for your son to succeed educationally and as human being, this is very important.

Don't allow him that control. It is hard especially coz he has another son etc but he's doing himself no favors with your son.

Try to find away not to think about what he's doing if people are telling you say you don't want to know. It does help not knowing.
Now the weather is nicer you can spend tme outside of the house with your son and dog take a ball and a picnic little things like that help.

Remember all that debt he left you with? That's how he is funding his new lifestyle. You are doing the right thing getting your MP involved as I do think it can get the wheels turning. I don't think a solicitor's letter would make a blind bit of difference- it would just cost you money you don't have. It's really hard but you have to turn your face away from his life and focus on your own. Bitterness is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.

Can you use evidence of his lifestyle that is unrealistic with a salary of 18000? It's so wrong that NRPs can get away with causing such financial hardship while having a great time at the expense of their own child.