When they stay at their dads

[Louw12345]

I have been told that they are up till gone 5am because dad his partner and their friends are having a party.
Last weekend My youngest got woke up about 5 am to be moved to dads bedroom floor so his friend could get in her bed. The other2 shared their single bed with his friends child.
That dad and partner argue a lot this has been happening awhile but the worst one was weekend just gone, the kids mentioned his partner kept saying she won't be there when they are back from the park, there was talk about ringing the police, lots of shouting and swearing. My 13 year old was also there and confirmed everything that was said. However the 3 younger ones was all crying and wanted to come home, but partners mum took them to the park instead.

Whats the best way to approach this? Without sounding like I'm telling them what to do?

You can’t control what goes on on dads time, like he can’t control what goes on on your time.

What are you not happy with? The bed moving (which sounds like a one off)? The arguing? The taking the kids to the park? It’s not clear. You have to let dad parent. As he should let you.

How flexible are your arrangements? Would it be possible to say that if he’s having a party another weekend to swap days so your kids aren’t kept awake etc? Can’t really do much about him and his GF arguing I’m afraid, but at 13 your eldest will probably be voting with their feet soon enough and deciding not to bother going.

You can’t control what goes on on dads time, like he can’t control what goes on on your time.

You can (and must) if it’s abusive or harmful, which this is.

OP I would adopt my most helpful and collaborative tone of voice and suggest that they could do with a couple of child free weekends to iron out their current differences in peace. Point out it’s not good for anyone, including the D.C., to have a situation where children are exposed to conflict and deprived of sleep. Offer non staying contact instead. Be prepared to dig your heels in and lawyer up.

I don't see why my daughter should be removed from her bed at 5am to sleep on the floor coz their friends decided to sleep over maybe they should have been on the sofa?
The arguing I know I can't stop. And I explain to my kids that they need to talk to their dad about how it makes them feel, but they don't want to upset him.
He has 1 weekend for a few hours and one full weekend so he has plenty of time for arguments and friends staying over the rest of the time?
One of the younger children has to have time from lessons because she attends sessions due to her worries and feelings which they both know about, and she mostly talks about how she worries they will split up and she won't see her or the baby and worrie's about them. She feels if she's there she can 'look after the baby when they argue'.

I don't want to be getting involved in their relationship but I also don't want my kids upset or sleeping on the floor when they have their own bed.