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Original poster

question about fathers rights

8 replies

beansmum · 11/08/2004 22:00

hey, i was just wondering what rights my ex has, like will he be able to make me give him contact with ds. we were never married and have never lived together but he registered the birth with me and his name is on the birth certificate.

Its all getting a bit horrible between us at the mo and don't really want him involved at all. don't think he would really be bothered but he's quite likely to make a fuss just to upset me. prat. also in the future i'm thinking of moving back to nz with ds, would ex have to be asked/told?

i live in scotland if that makes any difference.

OP posts:
mammya · 11/08/2004 22:26

hi Beansmum, sorry you're having a hard time with your ex.

I know that the law regarding parental responsibility for unmarried fathers has changed recently but I'm not sure of the cut off date, before that date, unmarried fathers had to apply for parental responsibility, but now if their name is on the birth certificate they automatically have parental responsibility. So if your ds was born before that date and your ex never applied for parental responsibility, then just about the only right he has, as far as I know, is right of contact with your ds.

However having parental responsibility doesn't give that many rights, I think it means he would have a say in matters such as choice of religion, school, and can authorise medical treatment. I don't think you need his authorisation to move out of the country but not 100% sure.

Also I don't know if any of this applies to Scotland! Sorry can't be more helpful, I'm sure someone better informed will come along soon.

tammybear · 11/08/2004 22:40

how old is your ds? If he was born before Dec 2003, then your exp does not have parental responsibility. I am at the moment going through this problem with exp and it is just typical that my solicitor is away so I have to find a new one!! PR only gives him certain rights, like a right to a say in schooling, religion, emergency medical treatment. It doesnt really affect his status. But he can stop you from going abroad (have you been watching Emmerdale?) You have the main say no matter what. He cant have a say over you, as you have the last say as you're the main carer. You can stop him from seeing ds, but he can take you to the court to sort this out. Good luck with everything xxx

edam · 11/08/2004 22:50

Beansmum, the law in Scotland is probably different to England and Wales ? you have your own legal system ? so you need to look this up on some Government website in Scotland, I would imagine, unless any Scottish MNers know about it. Or ask your local Citizen's Advice Bureau (or Scottish equivalent, don't know if they are called something different there?).

tammybear · 11/08/2004 22:57

oh yeah i didnt think of that. i found this website if its any help for you beansmum

PR

kalex · 11/08/2004 23:17

Beansmum,

I have two children with ExH, one prior to marriage and one post. I seriously considered moving back to SA after we had split. And although I didn't I did speak to my sols about it, she said, that if that was what I wanted to do, then exH would have no say in the matter, and I live in Scotland, although got married in America. Both children were born pre 2003.

Hope that helps

SofiaAmes · 11/08/2004 23:57

Do you really think it's the best thing for your child not to have the opportunity to grow up knowing his father?
My dh has been deprived of a good relationship with 2 of his children and it has been terrible for both him and the children. I have watched these two kids over the last 6 years become increasingly more disturbed and mentally injured as a result of the disruption their mother has created in their relationship with their father simply because she is angry at him. The main losers are the children.

Original poster
beansmum · 12/08/2004 11:29

hey thanks for your help everyone and thanks for the link tammybear, if i understood it right ex doesn't automatically have parental responsibility in scotland but they're changing it soon, don't think it will affect me but under the new rules he would have pr if he's on the birth certificate. i could be totally wrong though, need to read the website again.

i know i sounds horrible to say that i don't want ex to have any contact but i'm sure its the best thing to do for me and ds and i'm not doing it just because i'm angry (although i am!). i don't think ex even cares and i know he would never go to court about it. that would mean actually admitting to everyone that he has a son.

i think its best that ds has one happy parent whos life is sorted out than two parents who hate each other and are always fighting. Also i would never speak badly of ex in front of ds and if he wants to see him when he's old enough to decide for himself i would be quite happy to help him get in contact.

OP posts:
Original poster
beansmum · 12/08/2004 11:58

just found this, thought i'd add this for anyone else who's interested, i think its pretty up to date.
parental responsibility in scotland

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