How far does your XP live from you and how often does he see the kids?

[charliecat]

Just split up and xdp is thinking of throwing in his very well paid job to go back to his mums spare room and be jobless.
We are in Kent, shes in Scotland.
Ive said the kids will see him once every 6 months if they are lucky, once a year if he meets a new woman.
If they are lucky.
How far away is your X and what giant efforts does he make to maintain a relationship with his DC?

But is v amicable divorce and I'm v happily remarried!

This might be an empty threat on his behalf - knee jerk reaction to the split. Why throw in a well paid job to be jobless? You need to be smart in how you react to this news of his, it is immature behaviour and you have every right to be upset.
Some Dads see their kids often and live miles away, some live near and don't bother. Sometimes seeing a Dad is problematic, sometimes not. There are other issues here. This is a horrible time for you and I hope you find all the support you need. Best of luck.

now hes had time to think, common sense has prevailed...please help!

um, what did I say about knee jerk reaction?? Glad it is changing.

I knew he was just reacting badly and trying to hurt you by saying he was leaving, he'd be hurting himself even more if he did this.

agree with madamez's comments on not badmouthing daddy, keeping the lines of communication open and basically being a good person even if at times he is not

h left in march moving 20 miles away. At same time lost his driving license due to a fit. He sees them on a thurs but has to stay at mine (one the settee) because he can't get home after and stays every other fri so I can work on sat. Not ideal but when he can drive again he wont have to stay.

Its drives me mad because it unsettles me all over again and sometimes I think we could make this work. But Iknwo he's not coming back so I don't knwo why i let it get to me

Yep Hayes and Madamez have said the single most important thing when splitting and for all the years after - do not badmouth, bite tongue off if necessary, leave room!

I have not badmouthed yet just warned the kids that one of these see you laters might be see you later im off to scotland, just so they had prior warning in case he did just spring it on us.
We get on ok, sadly, we just seem to suffocate each other as a couple