Should I give up my car?

[Ottmotherx2]

My ex got a car (in my name) for me when we first got together to help me out as I already had a daughter. I now have his baby and we have been on and off until we finally have stayed broken up for good. He has really hurt my feelings and left me to struggle on my own a few times.

The car used to be owned by someone close to him and he has said that now we are not together he wants it back. In the relationship he brought A LOT of stuff and has done a lot around my house. He feels used and that I have abused his kindness and has demanded items that belonged to the person he was close to back as well as the car.. which I own.

I was ok to go along with this for an easy life and I didn't want to upset him anymore. He has all the items back but the car so far due to collection difficulties.

I have found out the car is going to be passed straight from my ownership to someone else.

I do really need a car with two young children and I feel that this is now being done to teach me a lesson and not out of temporary hurt.

I'm so sad that he is happy for me to struggle with two young children now we are not together. And wonder if he will do more to make me struggle in the future as he knows this will hinder my plan to get back to work.

What would you do?

I have just relocated and had a baby. My money has been focused on other things. I have just paid to do a course, starting soon, which will lead to a career which requires me to have a car. Not having the car on the road was temporary due to PND and lack of immediate funds. He was kindly paying for the insurance for me to help out but that obviously stopped when things started to go down hill for us. The car has always been needed but I have have not be able to prioritise those payments it right now. I'm not used to having the little money you get on benefits. It has been a learning process to budget in this way for me.

If I've understood correctly your elder child is not his. Does the father pay child support. If not could you go to CMS to get this? I would suggest you also do the same for the youngest. The help he has given you is nice and has helped you, but I'm afraid from his point of view what's done is done and it has no actual baring on the future. However much that pisses him off.
It sounds to me that you really need to make this all official and sort it out properly with a proper visitation order (not the right name) with times, dates etc on it. Not just whenever, whatever.

Now I am settled and stable I can afford it. But I couldn't priortitse it before and I was scared to go out.. I have been building my life up from a darker time and am trying to get my life on track.

I don't want to keep the car just to have on the drive just coz it's mine.. if that is what you are thinking :)

My eldest does not see her father nor does he pay for her and we live a happier life for it. I'm not demanding money from him.

My youngest father does not want to go mediation and sees me as the problem. It does sound like the right thing to do but I just really wanted us to be able to get on.

It needs work doing? Get rid of it. It's not road worthy, and you're saving money to get it on the road so save a wee bit longer and get something that's 100% yours and non-acrimonious. It'll help get this twat off your back.

If you're about to pay to have work done on it I think you should give it back now. Work on the car will run into hundreds and with time to look about a bit you could get a decent run around for the same amount and not have the stress/doubt of your current situation.

Humm that is true.. I can't deny that there are feeling involved in this situation.. I am so hurt this didn't work out and that he thinks I deserve to be treated like this and I love my car. But maybe I would feel better about owning my own :)

Reading through he plays nicely when you are together. When your not he doesn’t.

He should be supporting his child whether in a relationship or not .

Go to the cms . It is always said on here maintenance and contact are separate . It applies both ways.

Only paying for what he wants to is a form of financial control

Please get maintenance sorted. He has an obligation to pay it for many years to come. You need and deserve that money to pay for your DC. He doesn't get to decide. He's playing you.