Holiday advice needed

[wirral]

My ex is due to have our daughter for the first half of the Whit holiday (Fri to Wed). As it's a bank holiday and all my friends seem to be going away I thought that I would use this time to go on holiday to see my parents who are abroad at the moment. When I told my daughter she was really upset as she wants to come to see her grandparents with me. Dad wont allow it. I've offered to swap the days but he wont as he has booked a holiday. My poor daughter is so upset. What do you think?

Should I cancel holiday?
Should I make daughter go?

I really do have great difficulty at the moment. Whilst I think that daughter enjoys spending time with her Dad but she really misses being with me and my family.

Have you booked your holiday yet?

No - it's just flights

Would you & dd get a chance to go together again in the year, if you went this time?

I can postpone but then that leaves me with nothing to do that bank holiday weekend.

We could go in the Summer holidays but my parents wouldn't be there.

I understand that she should go to her Dad's but she is really unhappy about it. Not sure whether allowing her to be dragged from house kicking and screaming is a good option.

I suspect the advice is going to be cancel the flights but I need to make some sort of life for myself when daughter isn't with me

I think you should leave the arrangements as they are and you in turn go abroad to see you parents on your own, but maybe later on in the year take your daughter with you

I think you should make the most of the bank holiday weekend by spending it with friends, make the most of it whilst your daughter is on holiday with her dad, I think if he has already booked the holiday its unfair for him to have to change his plans, go pamper yourself for that weekend and have 'me'time

Go & enjoy yourself, take the time to be you & not mummy.

Tell dd you'll bring her back something special. She'll prob have great time with her dad, although she's not saying that at the moment!

How old is dd?

She's 7.

Wont forcing her to go in a way ruin her relationship with her Dad?

She is so very sad about not being able to go

No it wont.

If you are able to go later on with her, tell her it would be better then as you's could stay for longer, & then she gets 2 holidays.

She's 7.

Wont forcing her to go in a way ruin her relationship with her Dad?

She is so very sad about not being able to go

Speccy - ' Did I think she was going to be upset?'

Well I did honestly think about not telling her just in case she was upset but I felt that this was in a way lying by ommission. I feel that she should always be aware where I am when not with her just in case she needs to get in touch or come home.

I'm possibly wrong in doing this but it is how I feel

I echo what anniemac says. Can't you go for the second part of the Whitsun holiday?

Dad's holiday isn't with our daughter. He's booked flights to go to Portugal on his own ( to his apartment). I can't go with daughter the second part of Whit as he is going to be there and I don't really want to run the risk of seeing him when on holiday ( Is that pathetic?)

Thanks all for the really constructive advice. At present I've asked ex if he would consider letting me have all Whit and he could have all Oct half term. No answer at present. If he doesn't get back to me I will stick with original arrangements - promise.

Thanks Anniemac. you've summed it up far better than I have. Daughter at the moment wont consider going abroad with her Dad but that would have been a great suggestion. Also he is staying longer than the half term so couldn't have done it anyway.

Why is life so complicated. I think that I need to learn that daughter has to go regardless of her wishes. I am dreading Friday.

Point taken Speccy but whilst I undoubtably will put a brave face on it for my daughter and smile and tell her how much she will enjoy herself with her Dad it wont make her want to go. Nor will it make her think very highly of her father