New BF - what to tell the children

[Mumtumwhatever]

Hello,

I've been divorced for 3 years and whilst I've dated during that time, I haven't introduced my children (DD 8yrs & DD 6yrs) to anyone.

My exH however has had 3-4 GFs all of whom have slept over in his house (with DDs there) - not an issue but plays a factor below.

I've met a fab guy and we have been dating about 7 months. I have just told the girls about him because its serious and they seem to be very excited and curious (he has 4 children around the same age as well). They haven't met my DP yet.

My DDs were at their father's house this weekend so my DP and I spent the weekend together at my house. My DDs knew this and asked where he slept (odd question I know). I lied and said he didn't stay over. Mostly because they have just been told about him (in the last week) and they haven't even met him and also as he is a boyfriend, I don't want them to think that boyfriends always sleep over.

Any advice on how to manage news of new boyfriends? I don't want to lie but I want my girls to know that there was courtship involved and it is not just about sleepovers and mummy's not just jumping into bed with people. They don't understand what sex is yet. My DD8 thinks it's naked kissing.

They will probably meet him in the next month or so (he doesn't live in the same city) and all the children meeting is a long while off.

Thx!

I told my kids who were then similar ages to yours that he was a friend who I really liked. Initially he would come round, we introduced him, we had coffee, all played board games, all watched a film together etc and the kids would see him leave. We had a few days out also , coast trips, picnics, cinema ets (he has a ds also who was a bit older than my 2 ds). Focus on doing things as a group together and having a bit of fun.

We focused on the friendship thing and doing nice things together and took it slowly with the kids.

We are now 4 years down the line. He and his ds have just moved in with us and we have managed this, I'm pleased to say without any trauma.

Hope all goes well for you

Excellent advice. Thank you. And congratulations on the "move in together"!