My ex left when I was 7 months pregnant. It's been nearly a year and he is still refusing to commit to set days. I've facilitated his visits and encouraged him to take the eldest out and in the meantime, I've got the baby onto a bottle, put in place bedtime routines, and provided everything ex needs to parent.
Except he won't have the children at his and his girlfriends, he's never had them longer than a few hours, he routinely just doesn't show up or rings 20 minutes in advance to see them, and he freely admits to choosing seeing his now live-in girlfriend over his children, or prioritising runs over them.
This has been a bone of contention since he left, but him having a relationship with the children seemed more important than his consistency. Except now I want to go back to work and need set days to plan childcare and he is refusing to agree to set times or days.
He's convinced that I'm doing this because I want to "get back out on the social scene", which is none of his business anyway, but he's basically using this as a reason to avoid "hours of torture" a week in seeing them.
He's bloody useless.
What do I do? If he doesn't agree to set days, that's another two days of childcare I have to pay. He just doesn't turn up - like this morning. I'm currently self-employed and I am so behind with projects because juggling a 6 month old and a 2 year old and work is impossible.
Can I say no access until he agrees on set days? Can I take him to court to enforce set days?
I want to do the right thing by my children and I'm not interested in using these as a weapon or playing silly buggers, I just need him to step up.