Does it get easier?

[Babyblue32]

I'm pregnant, dad has no interest
Didn't want baby, asked me to abort.
Said he'd support and be there and we would keep our relationship.

That was in November. Haven't seen him since. Haven't spoke on the phone since Feb.
Currently we have no contact he's started to ignore me.

I'm dealing with my issues with him... trying to focus on being NC.

Does it get easier? Doing it without the dad?
So far...: every post everyone is really low and sad. I don't want that.
I want to be thbe best I can be for baby.

I'm in shock!!

I could have written your post word for word down to the dates, back 18 months ago!

Yes it definitely does get easier

Yes it does. It’s rewarding and tiring but great. Lonely at times but even people with families get lonely.
Don’t contact him you don’t need him.

It does. I now feel the freedom of being able to make parenting decisions that are right for my child without battling it with someone who didn't care for the child more than his own selfishness

There are positives to single parenting though it is hard. I wouldn't choose it but it has more freedom than in a couple and that is one advantage

It's much better to do it alone than in constant conflict

It does get easier. It probably doesn't seem that way now but it does. My son's dad walked out when he was 4 months old. At first I was a mess and not coping at all but my parents were a big help. My son is 10 now and we've both been fine.

I won't lie, it has been hard and as people say it can be lonely at times but you'll get through.

I've had a couple of relationships over the intervening years but nothing serious. I've found that the longer i'm on my own, the more I like it! I'm very hard to please now

My only problems were related to knob of an ex, actually going it alone wasn't ever that bad. Don't get me wrong, financially it was tough when dd was little. And times like when you're seriously ill. I'm also not downplaying the mental load of knowing your dc only has you. But I never struggled with the daily routine side or felt remotely upset by happy couples, I was pleased I didn't have to share like they did.

You also need to bear in mind that people tend to post/ share their difficulties. In rl or on here people who managed pretty easily like I did won't drop into a conversation about difficult experiences to say how easy they found that stage, or to big up the positives of their own life. But that doesn't mean we aren't out there.

I think too that if you're alone from the start, in a warped kind of way it's easier. If you've never known how easy it is with support you don't know any different. Whereas if you've parented as a couple, even if your ex is useless and their only contribution to dc was financial you still have to adjust to going it alone which makes it seem tougher.

And there are positives to balance out the negatives. Excluding the financial side early on, if I could have had dd's father as a sperm donor rather than an abusive relationship I really wouldn't change anything, I love my life just how it is.

Yes there'll be times you're exhausted or stressed but they aren't newborns or toddlers forever, it gets easier.

It will be easier alone than with a horrid abuse partner which is what your ex sounds like.

You made right decision.

Most important thing ever that I can stress is build a support netowork around yourself of other mums and supportive people.
Go to pregnancy groups and baby groups to meet them and don't be shy to make friends because when your lying in bed with baby all alone and hungry and tired you will need the friends / family to talk on the phone or go to the shop and buy you sandwiches.

Or even if you have just had an tiring week and need to chat to other people who can relate.

Never be afraid to voice what help you need to your family etc addmittinghwere you need help does not make you weak, it is strong and actually very sensible because more help for your means less stress and happier healthier baby :)

@Thehogfather
Yes of course that's why I made this thread, I read how they struggle and I've never wanted to comment and be like is it always this bad?
Yeah I mean I've managed my 7 months without him, and I have suffered mentally - mainly due to the constant false hope and lies. It eats you up.

@JacquettaW
:) this good, I feel like I'll never be in a relationship again... but I'm not focused on that to much.
10 and still going is good. I feel like it just need to read that it does get better and it's nice to read it

@CoupleOfPushBacks
Oh god, as much I don't wish this on anyone it's also a relief sort of to know it's not only you that's going through it..... I've stressed and struggled over childs father throughout so far. Only recently I've decided to step back

@Bubba1234 @wtf2018
Yeah people have said don't contact Again - I'm so remaining strong on that one I think
Also yeah everyone's aid it'll be amazing when it comes down to it.

Six years being lone parent here, and it’s much easier now. Ds is happy and settled. No more walking on eggshells, I’m much more relaxed which creates happy home.
Once you get into a solid and happy routine, you’ll be fine.

Been a lone parent for over 11 yrs, did have 1 relationship after i was divorced. Its been 8 yrs since, My kids dad hasnt seen them for over 3 yr yrs. Im very proud of how they have turned out. My eldest has just finished a degree in forensic biology and my youngest is about to finish college.

It does get easier as they get older.