Severe anxiety - parental rights ?? HELP

[alisaaa]

I’m 22 and a first time single mum to a beautiful 14 week old baby boy.
I love my son dearly and try to keep busy while on Mat leave by doing things together. I suffer from general anxiety anyway but this has extremely heightened recently and comes in waves throughout the day. I can prevent myself from taking panic attacks but it takes a lot out of me and makes me feel really deflated for the day and feeling really empty .
Ds’s Father does not see him at the moment as I stopped access due to him turning up at my door in a threatening manner while under the influence of drugs . I got a lawyer involved before this happened , due to the fact he was demanding and saying I was being unreasonable with access although he only had met DS a few weeks earlier and I just wanted to cover my own back to make sure that the access I was offering at the time was in fact reasonable and I wasn’t withholding DS from getting to know his father. So since then ( my lawyer was the one who informed him access had been stopped ) I have been feeling really depressed and anxious constantly waiting on the unknown . I’m hoping he just stays away from us as I’m scared of his unruly behaviour and unpredictable manner. In the meantime I’m sure he will apply for PR and access through court ( he blocked me from contact the minute I told him I was pregnant and was absent until I tracked him down when DS was 6 weeks old.
I’m worried what’s going to happen constantly although I still haven’t received any correspondence from a lawyer at his side . I feel to scared to go to my GP regarding my emotional state and severe anxiety at the moment incase he uses it against me if this goes to court and makes me out to be an unfit parent or something.
Can I make it clear that I was the instigator of fishing this man into DS’s life and tried everything possible in an amicable way to suit him for building a relationship with DS, he was demanding and unreasonable wanting overnight access and to have DS for lengthy periods despite not even knowing how to make a bottle or what his basic needs were. I gave him opportunities to build on this but he let DS down by proving that drugs were more important and I’m sorry but I could not hand over DS knowing he was going in a car with a man who was under the influence .
I feel so confused and sad and like I’m to blame for all of this .
I really don’t know what to do or what to expect now.
Please help me

You did the right thing for your son. Very young babies need to stay with their main carer, not go off overmight with virtual strangers. That's how the law would see it too. Please try not to worry. See your GP.

How awful! You've done exactly the right thing being a responsible parent by keeping your baby away from someone under the influence of drugs.

Anxiety makes it difficult to be rational about your worst fears, but really - does it seem likely there is any risk of a baby or child being removed from their loving mum so that they can spend more time with or live with their scary drug abusing dad? If social services ever became involved, it would reflect very well on you that you have recognised your son's father is not safe to care for him! Continue as you are! The only thing that remains is to see your GP or at least speak with HV to get some help for your anxiety.

Is your son's father named on his birth certificate? If not, he has no parental rights and would find it very difficult indeed to get them. Although you have a lawyer so why not ask them for their reassurance?

Hugs at this difficult time. It sounds like you are doing everything right already though (except maybe looking after yourself by getting some help for you anxiety).

Some anxiety that you have sought help for before it spiralled out of control won't be able to be used against you. It shows you really being responsible and putting your role as parent as the top priority.

Plus, everything he's putting you 4th rough would give any one anxiety!

Do you like your gp and have a good relationship? If not, you could always try a different one first. But definitely get some help, it won't brand you as a bad mother. Far from it.

4th rough = through

Thankyou guys! He’s not on the BC no. I have heard however that PR is pretty straight forward to obtain.
Thankyou I think I will make an appointment with my GP. I am aware that anxiety and depression can’t bs used against you in a court of law especially if you have recognised it yourself and are cotolling it but you neve know what nasty people can do to get what they want over you. They could easily clutch at any straws just to prove daft points . Feeling a bit of a prisoner at the moment .