Court order

[lovemyboys25]

Do they cost a lot to get done? For contact

You can represent yourself and apply directly. It costs £215.

If you can negotiate yourselves it saves the stress of court. A contact order will give you no flexibility but you do know where you stand.

Thank you that's really helpful

In my opinion they are a waste of time..... I have one and my childs dad never ever sticks to it and only refers to it when it suits him and unless I take him back to court there’s nothing I can do about it!

My OH is the other way round.

He has a court order. His EW used the children as weapons for 2 years and would dictate and withhold contact to punish / get back at him. When she refused to let the daughter speak to her dad on her birthday (let alone see her for 5 mins to give a present) he said enough is enough.

He took her to court and has a court order. Each knows we’re they stand (contact is set a year in advance). He’s never missed a single contact time or indirect contact (phone calls). He’s taken her back to court 3 times for breaching the order (these were serious breaches were she withheld contact and wouldn’t let the kids see the dad for weeks on end).

Takes all the control out of it. He would never go back.

I'm not sure it benefits the resident parent as the court order will state that you have to make the children available at prescribed times but it doesn't order that their dad actually has them.

I have one. Cost me the price of a small car. Is completely pointless - DD's dad just ignores it and when I tried to enforce it, the court seemed to be completely oblivious to everything that had led up to the order, obviously hadn't read CAFCAS's report and couldn't even get my daughter's name right - shocking lack of care in relation to what potentially has such a great impact on DD's life. Absolute waste of time and money.

Thank you everyone
Northern spirit did yours end up costing a lot?

My court order was a godsend and worth its weight in gold.

My OH used a solicitor and barrister early on in the process and estimates he spent about £5k. The solicitor couldn’t even get his children’s name correct. He has since represented himself. His advice would be if you want regular contact and to take the dictating and power away - get a contact order.

He was in a difficult position, the mother using the children as weapons against him because he had left. It went on for 2 years. She wouldn’t let him see the children for weeks on end and used to blackmail him with contact. She once threatened if he didn’t give her £3k he wouldn’t see the kids. He didn’t have the money to give her and she withheld contact for 6 weeks.

I think in the whole it’s dads getting contact orders. Remember you can’t force the dad to stick to it. You legally just have to make the children available.

From my perspective as a SM - I know when the kids are coming and there’s no messing around.

Very useful for the Non Reisdent Parent, less so for the Resident Parent when the NRP is useless. It need not cost thousands, £250 ish for the application and it can be printed online along with a guide of how to fill it out (Court form finder website- C100). You don’t need a Solicitor or Barrister even if the other party have one.

Thanks everyone for the advice. Really helpful :)

Why does it favour one parent over the other? I’m in the process of obtaining one but unsure why it’ll be used against me if I don’t stick to it but if he doesn’t nothing will be done?

@Whoknows11 - contact orders don’t favour one parent over the other. In most cases fathers are forced to get an order because the mother has stopped contact.

You have to make the children available, the father doesn’t have to take up the contact. That’s the way it is. It not fair IMO but that’s the way it is.

It will be ‘used against you’ if you don’t make the children available for contact. Contact isn’t yours or the dads right, it’s the children’s. By stopping contact you are stopping the children’s rights.

Contact orders were developed as mothers stopped contact and it was a legal way for fathers to see their children.

Whoknows in general court orders set out when the RP has to make the children available for contact.
They are useful as previously mentioned when an RP is frustrating contact and also when an NRP is constantly changing contact at the last minute.
What a court order can not do is force an NRP to take up contact.

In my case I never stopped contact at all he left me not my son and despite whatever I think about him he is my sons Dad, he took it to court because he wanted to ‘presume’ and ‘judge’ me by other women’s standards ......! He never abides by the order infact within 13 days of going to Court he started to want to change what he sat and agreed in Court. The way I see it if he doesn’t want to see his child then that’s his loss.

So what’s the difference between the nrp and rp in both adhering to the court order? Why does one parent have to follow it and the other can choose to take it or leave it? In my eyes it just doesn’t seem right.

@Whoknows11 - contact is the right of the child, not the parent. Contact orders are about enforcing the rights of the child. The expectation in law, is that the parent the child lives with allows a reasonable amount of contact with the other parent.

If the NRP fails to take up the contact granted, you can make an application to get he court to have the contact order discharged.

Reading these boards (and from my own experience) mums stop contact more than dads not taking it up.

My OH has a contact order and despite it being very clear, my OH has taken her back to court 3 tines for very serious breaches. The mother has stopped the children seeing their own dad - she’s stopped their right. The dad hasn’t missed a single contact session (or phone call).

Not all mothers stop contact.

NorthernSpirit - I know it’s about the rights of the child I’m not questioning who’s right it is. I’m just confused at how a CAO is so one sided. Personal circumstances and views aside how can a order dictate one thing for one parent and not bother if the other parent breaches it.

Is it possible to private message on here?

My DH is considering a court order as there is no encouragement from EP for a relationship with his 3 DC

The only issue is he is currently unwell so unable to travel to visit the DC
We have asked previously for shared travel but she refuses
Would a court order help with this?

Yes, it’s possible to PM.

Travel depends on the judge. My OH has a very defined contact order but it doesn’t stipulate who does drop offs & pick ups. The EW refuses to do any. Hasn’t done one in almost 6 years. She was asked once if she could meet my OH at the station a 10 min walk from hers and she refused. There was a massive kick off so my OH hasn’t asked again. So my OH does it all. He’s so grateful to see the chikdwn ge doesn complain. I should add we live 75 mins apart, my OH works FT. Mum works PT, and doesn’t work on pick up or drop off days.

Do my advice woukd be get a court order and make sure it’s stipulated who picks up and drops off. Personally I think it should be shared. From what I read on here it tends to be the dads who do it.

Mum should be facilitating contact. If she isn’t get a court order.

Please can you pm me northern if you don't mind? I don't want to make my situ obvious.
Do they show up on mob ap?