Child maintenance dilema

[Hehx3]

Hi all, I have a dilema regarding maintenance and need your views please. Im a single mum of 2 boys, from day when my husband left 1 year ago Im supporting my boys myself. He didnt pay a penny towards them moreover boys are wearing school shoes over the weekends as he doesnt want to buy a pair there (that makes me really angry). I have well paid job and can continue what Im doing at the moment but I do feel I should protect their rights especially as my younger has an autism and therapies cost a lot of money (this way I could support him more). Now, my husband is an abusive man(emotional and financial abuse in a marriage) so I do admit I am very scared of his reaction (that makes me feel shitty and weak but its a true). Should I contact CSA (he refused to contribute when I asked) and honestly REALLY rock a boat or maybe I shouldnt and let boys have this peace. Could you please comment?

Contact them he needs to grow up

Seriously contact them. They do all the hard work and you can get them to take the money directly from him, it will cost you slightly more but it completely takes away the need for him to a) have your bank details and b) he doesn’t then get to have any control over giving you the money.

You’re not rocking the boat! It pisses me off no end that men can be fathers and the mothers of their children are too scared to ask for money which is rightly their children’s just because it might annoy him. He made those children too, and he should absolutely be contributing towards their uobringing. Never feel guilty for doing your best for your sons! If he kicks off, let him. He’ll still have to pay!

Yes contact CMS. It's the only way.

Thank you so much for your comments. It does feel the right way and I needed to hear that. It is sad I have to do it in a first place. Just need to gather a courage now and prepare myself for this "wave" coming my way. Really hard this living is... but I do recognize some mums have it harder and I wished none of us had to go through those difficulties. Children should be a centre of the focus.

Ah one more please: did you ever came across of situation when dad goes for more "overnight" stays mainly to not to pay? For my autistic son that would ve been devastating :-(

I always fail to understand the reluctance of women to contact the csa to get what is right for their children. It should never be a question imo. If they fail to pay it's taken out of their wages. My stbexh was abusive in every way but pays monthly. He resents it, but he pays. You either need to send them with clothes and shoes for the weekend or he needs to buy stuff.