I've had a very turbulent relationship with my mother. In short she met a new partner when I was 9 years old who in my eyes didn't treat us very well. I left home at 15 and it's always been a rocky relationship. I am now a mum of 4! She's had contact with all my children throughout their lives but the same vicious cycle keeps happening and I've really had enough now. For example my mum will babysit one of the kids ( which is great! My kids enjoy it mostly) but then any small chance she will go on about how much she helps me, how I decided to have kids and how she's raised her kids. It all kicked off again as I asked her to have my youngest 20 months for a few hours. I am a single mum, I have severe depression and ptsd. I don't drink or smoke or have friends (my choice) so I rarely ask for her help as I don't go out but I was feeling particularly overwhelmed that day and she refused. Which I understand is completely her choice. But it's the whole argument after it where she goes on about how I decided to lie down and have kids and she has her own life. She pops in maybe once a week and I honestly dread it, I'm actually welling up just thinking about this. She comes and makes lots of snide comments about my house being messy, my appearance, my parenting basically anything. I feel totally drained after seeing her. I'm at the point now where I've told her I would prefer not to have contact with her but the kids are free every Sunday if she wants contact with them. Now everyone is involved and I'm the monster. Am I being selfish in protecting my own mental health? Is asking for a little bit of help once in a while a big ask? I appreciate any opinions. Thank you