Hello! I’m sorry for the long post but I’m in desperate need of some solid advice!
I’m due to have my daughter any day now!
I’m single and she will be my first child. The father and I are no longer dating, but get on well. I broke up with him a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant but he wouldn’t accept it, then when I found out I was pregnant I tried to make it work but he and his family were really cruel and demanding. At 6 weeks pregnant (roughly) I was told I HAD to move in with him and the baby’s name will be this and that and I have no right to name the baby or invite anybody to my scabs as it was his child. Like, what?!
I very quickly got stressed with this and my wonderful midwife said to back off from them as the stress is harming me and baby, so that’s what I did. It took about 6 weeks to break up with the father as again, he wouldn’t accept it.
Bear in mind, all in all, we’d be dating 2 months tops!
Baby was unplanned but I fell in love with my baby the moment I fell pregnant, abortion was not an option and I was more than prepared to do it all by myself.
Fast forward a few months and I am so happily single, I’ve moved in with my parents and brothers they have all excitingly asked to help raise my daughter with me, to which I’m over the moon with!
Now, the father, however lovely he is, his temper changes so so quickly, he can be laughing one moment then blink and he’s f*ing and blinding at me. He even had the ordacity to tell me I’m stupid for choosing my daughters name and he gets nothing out of this pregnancy! I have not pushed him out of my life but I have had to ask him to step back as he is very needy.
This said, I have seen him a total of maybe 10 times since breaking up with him, 7 months ago.. the rest of the time he is working/smoking weed/smoking/drinking. He lives in a household where his brothers do cocaine and drink everyday in the house and there are parties (and new people attending the parties) every week.
I am extremely uncomfortable with the thought of the father having any rights over my daughter because of his situation. If I let her stay with him, I am willingly putting her in danger and I do not want to do that.
I don’t want him in the labour ward when I am in labour as he really stresses me out and gives me anxiety but as she is his daughter, I have agreed to let him in with the knowing that if I ask him to leave, he has to leave.
I have been advised to not put him on the birth certificate I’ve read awful stories where the father takes the child and never comes back and I cannot cope with the thought of that happening to my baby!
If I don’t put him on the certificate, he will go to the courts to get himself put on. Does anybody know what the chances of the courts letting him be put on the certificate are?
Has anybody been through this and can give me advice?
P.S. I am planning to breast feed so I know he can’t take her away from me whilst I’m breastfeeding but am I missing anything?
Thank you all in advance for any advice you can give me!