What access would a court order?

[alisaaa]

DS is 12 weeks old. Only met his Father at 6 weeks old. He is currently not on the BC.
If he applies for a court order and access does anybody have an idea of what a judge would grant him?
Kind thinks in advance x

Are you breastfeeding? If so overnights are unlikely until you stop.
With a baby the recommendation is little and often gradually building up, but it will depend on circumstances like distance and what you are both asking for.
A possibility would be 2 hours 2-3 times a week, building to 4-6 hours on a weekend and 2 hours in the week at around 6-9 months, then at toddler age theyll often give every other weekend so Friday afternoon-Sunday evening and one midweek evening or overnight eg. Every wednesday.
A lot will depend on when you are both available due to work and what he is asking for.

Has he only seen him once through his own choice? If so I wouldn't worry too much about court, he probably won't apply and if he does its a lengthy process if you are against what he's asking for and he would need to actually be turning up to regular contact to get it increased.
If you have any concerns you would be able to ask for supervised contact at that age initially too.

Try to enjoy your baby and not worry unless it actually happens, it seems standard for some dads to threaten court when they don't actually care or follow through with it just to cause stress. If he applied now he'd have to go through mediation first too then wait for initial hearing and there could be more than one after that which means weeks and weeks between depending on the situation. By the time something was actually ordered your baby will seem much less 'tiny' than right now and hopefully you'll feel less anxious being away from him.

Thanks for your responses :)
I have written previous posts.
He refused contact throughout my pregnancy and after a lot of hell to try and contact him it was me who brought him up to meet DS at 6 weeks.
He was initially seeing him 4 hours twice a week but demanded more immediately and was wanting every weekend and overnight access.
I am still BF from 6pm until 9am and formula feeding through the day.
I had to contact a lawyer for advice as I was concerned that I wasn’t giving him enough access after his demands and I was afraid I wansnt being fair on ds, despite being anxious and feeling as though the 4 hours twice a week was far too much for my baby to go to basically a stranger to begin with.

It all came to a head last week when he turned up to collect DS stoned out of his face. He demanded I hand him over , he then stated I would need to start dropping off DS as he could not ‘ afford ‘ the petrol. He was also verbally abusive and nasty because I have been asking him to tell me only briefly what the baby will be doing and where he will be going on his visits. I found Tunis reasonable considering he is only beginning to know him and he is only 12 weeks old.
After refusing to hand over DS I contacted my health visitor and lawyer in a very upset state due to his behaviour at my door.
My lawyer has since written him a letter stating that access has now been stopped as I can no longer do a handover or communicate amicably with this man.
This is not a case of me not wanting my child to know his father as I was the one who went to lengths to bring him into the child life initially , but I cannot put up with this as it’s unnacpetbale for a baby to be passed about without proper communication and it is also dangerous for him to expect me to hand over our 12 weeks son to him while he is under the influence and intending on driving with DS.

Can somebody please tell me if I’m in the wrong?
I’m not sure what will happen now as I assume his mother will be pushing for him to apply for PR and access through a court .
I’m so scared I cannot eat or sleep or enjoy time with my baby at the moment as I am afraid of the unknown.

Can I also state that he contacted my lawyers office on Friday and was verbally abusive to the girl at reception after receiving the letter.

Please help me ladies!
I forgot to add he only stays 20 mins away!

I would start bf during the day, you need to do what you can to protect your dc from his drug taking df. Make notes of contact so far, keep texts etc. He needs to provide to
a judge he is a responsible parent.

non molestation order, need to prove threatening behaviour.

Write down dates and what happened in case it does go to court, it might seem fresh in your mind now but dates and details might end up forgotten after a while.
Agree with what the other poster said about starting breastfeeding in the day. My DS is 6 months and I'm not away from him for longer than 20 minutes popping to the shop still as he's unpredictable with when he wants to feed now he's more awake and alert.
If there's another situation where you know he's driving under the influence phone the police at the time so its logged. If it does go to court I would be asking for the minimum amount of supervised contact in a contact center, with you nearby for feeds.

Hi everyone thanks for replying ! Not sure I can start BF again during the day as I’m returning to study nursing again in August so would be contradicting myself as baby is going to nursery for some of the time and to my mum for the other times.
Don’t want to be made to be a fool / liar.

What access would he be most likely granted if this is the case? X

Hi alisaaa . He wouldn't be likely to get anything at the moment as he has no more rights than the man next door as he's not in the BC !
Take a breath OP. First HE needs to apply for PR - that's 2-3 months if he applies now.. then he needs to make an application for a CAO another 6-8 week wait.

At the CAO you both go to court and he says why he should see the child and you say what your concerns are. (He has no relationship with his child and even less so by then AND he is a drug taker willing to drive whilst under the influence)
Judge will order drug tests and supervised access . Probably a neutral family member (your parents ? Someone baby is familiar with who isn't you ? If no one then a contact centre)
If he is drug free - and it's very difficult to fudge this with dope as it has such a long half-life. So if he has a smoke on Monday it will still be detectable In Saturday. - Then he will get little and often until your child is 2 or 3 when he will be able to have him overnight Friday to Sunday every other weekend and an evening in the week. But all this is a gradual build up.
If he is consistent and reliable then every other weekend will be the RIGHT thing for your child. IF he fucks up in anyway, then you stop access and he will have to take you back to court to enforce the order - which is your opportunity to say why his behaviour is contrary to your child's welfare.
This should not be treated as a way for you to impose your parenting style on the other parent, and should only be used when your child's WELFARE is at risk.
However All this is a long way down the road. He hasn't even taken the first step to establish himself as a parent yet !

Thankyou so much for you information. Can I ask how you know so much about the system?
I have been so stressed recently waiting for it all to happen .
I did phone my lawyers up at the beginning of the week just to see if there had been any correspondence and nothing apart from the fact he called up my lawyers office and was giving the lady over the phone verbal abuse and she had to hang up on him 😬.
I have nerves in my stoa h constantly because I don’t know what’s coming or what is going to happen x

You were given lots of advice on the other thread . Were you not planning to move . What is happening with that

Starlight I am still hoping to move but the process is harder than I anticipated as I need to wait for a suitable house swap to become available for me and DS.
I was planning to move while I was pregnant but I had it in my head that When exP did eventually meet DS it would all fall into place for DS, how wrong was I . Now I need to wait for the right move and have all of this hanging over me in the mean time . I wish I wasn’t so naive. I just wanted a perfect relationship for them both but it’s just caused hell. I feel like such a failure and like this is all of my fault . I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t . I just thought that forcing him into DS life would have went perfectly but instead I’m the brunt of all emotion and the bad witch of the West . It’s heartbreaking

Been through it all from the other side.. DH ex withheld contact and accused him of being an alcoholic coke addict!! (If you knew him you would find that so ridiculous as to be funny. Nevertheless the court couldn't (and shouldn't) take his word, so ordered drug/alcohol tests and they told us what would happen if they were positive.
They weren't.

My advice record any threatening calls/messages. Video record any interactions. These will all protect you if he applies through court x

Bump - anymore advice ladies ? Xx