Worried i am doing this wrong

[GeeGaw42]

I have been separated for about 7 months and for sake of my dd we are being amicable and still spending lots of time together as a family. Its fine mostly but i find it very wearing when its been for several consecutive days. My dd is very happy to be in her dads company on her own for a night and day max. She then gets upset and wants to come home so we end up sharing time together when we have time off work etc. so he can see more of her. She is only just 3 and we both work full time - she is in nursery and we have no family around for support.

We have just had a couple of days off and my idea is to spend lots of time with her doing some stuff but not loads - she gets really tired being in nursery full time and i think she needs a break as much as we do.

We have still done nice things and on my days alone with her we have been out and about, played outside a lot and generally had fun. He has made a couple of nasty remarks though abouf me cooping her up indoors and her being excited to go out as a sign that she must be sick of being in.

I know I shouldnt but I keep dwelling on these remarks. Is it wrong to give her time ff like this? Its made me feel really shit actually. I dont have a car and cant take her to the places he goes with her.

I also have dogs so we are a bit limited in how far/long we can be out of the house and weather is only just picking up to make public transport trips less awful. We do go out for dog walks we go into town we have lunch in cafes and visit friends whenever i can although that doesnt happen often as i only moved here when pregnant and friendships take time to build when ur not on the toddler group circuit due to work.

I am trying to do everything right by her. And him to give him time with her. I feel very guilty as i ended it. There was no one else but he doesnt believe that.
Sorry for the long post.

Ignore the idiot you sound like your doing a great job. I'm a single mum to two and some days we stay at home and don't even get dressed! I don't feel bad about it and I'm sure if a child was bored they would tell you.

Thank you! That has made me feel a lot better. Its nice to be at home! We went out this morning for an hour or so and played outside but also watched cbeebies and frozen the rest of the day. She seemed happy enough - Its just the way he says things - sets me off. I wish i didnt feel i have to see him so much.

I think you need to start separating more . Spend less time together . Your Dd is young and will soon adapt.

As for down time . It is perfectly fine your Dd would let you know if it wasn’t . 3 year olds don’t sit still when bored.

My DD is at a childminder 4 days a week so I think it’s really important that she has time to play at home when she’s not there and is able to relax and play in her own environment.
I would ignore him; you’re doing him a favour by spending time with him to lengthen his time with your DD and if he continues to upset you then you don’t have to keep doing it

I would love to see him less often. I dont feel like we are properly parted and its really starting to grate on me. Especially with remarks he makes and the way he behaves in the house - like he still lives here basically. I am hoping to move soon which should change that as it wont be 'home'.

I think its important too to have time at home when she is out all week. Her toys would never get played with otherwise and I feel like she needs a home environment to recharge in. He takes her out all day on his days with her and she is wiped out.