Feeling very guilty and useless

[stripesandtriangles]

NC for this

I've got a toddler and a newborn, my partner left me just after I found out I was pregnant. I've managed to support myself completely independently but now I think I'm going to have to start claiming benefits.

I was getting a student loan and I was working, but I've missed so many deadlines the last couple of months I think I'm going to get kicked out of university and I wasn't at my last job long enough to get maternity pay. I just feel fucking useless.

OP - you are doing an amazing job in very tough circumstances. Never forget that.

Can you break this down.....

Claim the benefits you are entitled to

Talk to your tutor about your situation. Can you do anything to remain in your course. By finishing you are fibbing you and your kids better opportunities and future earning potential.

Do you have any family or friends near by who could give you a break?

Hey, you are dealing with several difficult and stressful situations here - looking after kids (one being a newborn), lacking sleep and time generally, trying to study... Anyone would struggle in your position. You're not useless, just human. I agree with Northern Spirit - can anyone help to give you time? Also, claiming the benefits you're entitled to for a period of time is fair and sensible if it takes some of the heat off. You won't always be under such stress and things will get easier if you ask for help.

You've got a tough job on your hands there with 2 little ones. If there is anyone who is useless it's the father of your 2 beautiful children, not you. You're being a mum and a dad to them, he is being a childish fool. Don't beat yourself up :-)

Assuming both kids under 5, I would take a breather. You have a newborn, would uni let you defer for a year say?

You can then claim income support, child tax credit, child benefit and housing benefit. In addition I hope the father is paying CM for both the children. As a single parent your dc will be entitled to free hours at preschool from 2 (normally 3).

I didn't work for a few years when DD was little and claimed the above and managed to survive. She's now at school and I'm working but was so pleased to be able to claim benefits for the time I was struggling emotionally and mentally.

Don't be too proud to claim benefits. They're there to support you through difficult times.

Good luck.

Please don't feel you cant ask for help. your university should have a health and wellbeing service? They often advise on issues like this and if they have a money advice / support team they will be able to help too. Not just with the finance advice but with speaking to tutors getting extensions to essays talking to the right teams for deferring - they are all there to help you! I work at a university and its the very last thing they want to see someone drop out. Please seek the support teams out! Some universities also have funding set aside for emergency support you can apply for.