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Original poster

‘Custody’

21 replies

Whoknows11 · 13/04/2018 22:08

So the ex who left me heavily pregnant for another woman, has now 3 years later decided he wants full custody and has applied to the courts.

Please someone tell me he’s not right in the head before I start to loose the plot myself?!

OP posts:
WishingOnABar · 13/04/2018 22:10

Haha that’s crazy! Has he even approached you personally for access or just gone full legal on you?

Is he on the birth certificate?

mummymermaid · 13/04/2018 22:12

Has he been in contact with your DD all this time? Has he given any reason? Has he paid for the upbringing?

mummymermaid · 13/04/2018 22:13

Sorry I thought you said DD but you didn't, so I meant DC

Aprilmightbemynewname · 13/04/2018 22:14

I am betting she has dumped him and he is bored so wants to mess with your head for fun.
Why would a judge take your dc and give him/her to a stranger!?

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 13/04/2018 22:15

So he’s had regular contact on his terms since he left. I’ve never denied him seeing his children. We split the holidays 50/50 but again on his terms. Sometimes he’s had them half sometimes not.

Yes he’s on both birth certificates.

He works away a lot and has now got another child with his home wrecker of a girlfriend!

OP posts:
WishingOnABar · 13/04/2018 22:17

You need to get some legal advice ASAP

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 13/04/2018 22:21

It’s bonkers to think a father can walk away from his children and then try and take the children away from the one person who has shown them stability.

My youngest who is 2 yrs old never wants to see him or go to stay with him so why would he think he can force him away from me. Totally sick in the head in my opinion!

OP posts:
WishingOnABar · 13/04/2018 22:28

Absolutely! My DS has never met his father, who lives in the same town.
He used to tell all mutual friends that I refused access and he was desperate to see “our” son until I found out and made a public facebook post for all to read that he’d been NC since the birth, now according to a mutual friend he just never mentions us.
What kind of asshole not only walks away but then tries to pretend they were not to blame?

I hope you get this sorted op

mummymermaid · 13/04/2018 22:31

Sounds very controlling! You should get legal advice and make sure he has nothing on you. So keep text messages etc neat and tidy so he can't use anything like that against you. Also save any messages he sends just in case they might come useful. But most of all get legal advice!

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 13/04/2018 22:40

Thankfully I have a SHL who will hopefully put him in his place. The nutter is also doing all this with no legal representive. Hopefully the judge will laugh at him. The fact that he took our children away for 4 days over easter to see his family 8 hours away and I find out my eldest wasn’t even sat on a car booster seat (he’s 7) for the entire return journey which I pointed out is not only highly irresponsible but illegal and he didn’t even bath or wash either children in 4 days, to which can he counted as neglect!

I’m trying to not let the threat of taking my children away from me effect me but the fact I feel sick to the bottom of my stomach is only natural of maternal instincts x

OP posts:
redhalia · 14/04/2018 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starlight2345 · 14/04/2018 10:00

Can I just say yes get legal advice but also be aware the court will only deal in facts so do you have proof of this
Also why do you think now ? Usually for full custody would be saying that you are not looking after them or he is hoping for 50/50.

Starlight2345 · 14/04/2018 10:02

Do you think this is a maintenance issue ?

hesterton · 14/04/2018 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kingsclerelass · 14/04/2018 19:33

The court will always put the interests of the child first. He wandered off before dc was born, while you held together and have provided a loving and consistent home.
And if he works away a lot, how is he going to be there for his dcs. Is he going to put his career on hold, work part time and be a full time dad?
And even then, why would the court uproot happy children?
I can't see any court doing that.

frigginell · 14/04/2018 19:44

In my experience, courts don't like to meddle with long-term arrangements unless there's a benefit to the child significant enough to outweigh the upheaval. He'll be given short shrift if he turns up asking to change their residence simply because he'd like it and is willing to have them. However, it's unlikely that he's oblivious to how that would be received, so he'll probably concoct a case based on your inability to look after them: be prepared for that.

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 14/04/2018 20:05

The best he'd get is supervised contact at a Contact Centre. They would not make him resident parent unless something extreme happened like you became a drug addict or were in hospital long term. An involved Dad would get 50/50 as a best case scenario so don't worry- you have a SHL as well. Thanks

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 14/04/2018 20:13

I see that you've allowed him to have the kids overnight already. Think he'll get laughed at saying that you're unreasonable.

colditz · 14/04/2018 20:16

Is he recently dumped and hoping for LA housing, by any chance?

Original poster
Whoknows11 · 14/04/2018 20:21

This man is in the HM Forces!!! So isn’t short of a penny and worryingly has a high regarded job!!!

So he left 3 years ago and contact from my position has been great. He’s constantly nagged for more but all on his terms and no thought of the children.

Recently he travelled the length of the country and back with our 7 year old on no booster seat. When I told him it was illegal he didn’t seem to care!

OP posts:
jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 14/04/2018 20:24

He was "lucky" that you did not call the police.

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