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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

12 weeks maternity

12 replies

louisag1992 · 04/04/2018 20:36

Is it long enough...

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NapQueen · 04/04/2018 20:37

Why wouldnt it be? Surely the right length of mat leave is the overlap on the venn diagram between "how long i want" and "how long i can afford" so its different for everyone.

Kingsclerelass · 04/04/2018 20:44

It depends of course.
If you have a straightforward birth, you are fit now and you are well organised with childcare that you trust already in place, then yes, possibly. But expect to be tired. Take all the help you can get.
I had my dc late so I wasn't ready to go back for 5 months.

NerrSnerr · 04/04/2018 20:48

It depends. I didn't want to go back that early- I also exclusively breastfed both and wanted to for much longer than 12 weeks.

After my first I wouldn't have been physically well enough, after my second I would have been.

Original poster

louisag1992 · 04/04/2018 22:24

I will be a single mum and it's just people keep making me feel guilty for planning to go back to work as soon as 12 weeks. When I say my mum went back after the same sort time, my brother was only 11wks, I just get hit back with 'there was a dad'. No there wasn't my dad never round even when my parents were married. In fact both of them were in the military so I barely saw either of them. It really got to me how someone could just assume my father was around when I grew up and try and use it as comeback when explaining that I went to a childminder that young.

I imagine if I wasn't on my own I'd be more likely to take more time off as it'd be easier affording it. So how can someone be making me feel guilty for going back to work because the dad won't be around - besides we'd both be at work even if we were together!

OP posts:

NapQueen · 04/04/2018 22:31

Does your work offer any enhanced maternity pay?

Original poster

louisag1992 · 04/04/2018 22:45

@NapQueen, for the first 6 weeks yes and as it was an unexpected pregnancy I couldn't save ready for a lengthly maternity leave. I'm also on probation and will rely on my income to provide for my baby, but not having a job could happen anyway! As it stands I plan on taking 12 weeks leave and then using my annual leave to have short weeks up until the New Year.

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Dobbythesockelf · 04/04/2018 22:49

It depends on your situation entirely. With my dd I wouldn't have been well enough to go back to work at 12 weeks due to complications but most woman will be fit enough. If it's what you need to do then it's what you need to do and no one should judge you on that. My mum used to run a nursery before she retired and she would have babies as young as 8 weeks sometimes.

NerrSnerr · 05/04/2018 02:40

The nursery I use takes children from 4 months but I do know a childminder who takes babies that small.

Original poster

louisag1992 · 05/04/2018 08:16

I've already got a childminder in mind!

OP posts:

user1867895 · 21/04/2018 03:52

I went back to work when mine was 9 weeks. I would have gone insane otherwise!

applesandpears56 · 21/04/2018 04:00

There is no way I could have done back to work at 12 weeks. But everyone is different - it’s perfectly do able if you need to.

privateporcupine · 21/04/2018 12:49

Do these people who are judging you and making you feel guilty have any other feasible suggestions? I suspect not. In which case, tell them to mind their own damn business.

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