Want to put my son up for adoption.

[LJ17xx]

Exactly that. Can't bare him anymore and I don't feel like I love him.

Babies with cow milk protein allergy do improve on lactose free milk and can have normal poo but they are still not fully better. My daughter has this.

Do go back to your GP and ask for dairy free formula. Also ring SS and your HV and tell them how you feel. It is their job to support you.

You can't really put him up for adoption. Would your mum take him permanently if you couldn't?
You need to speak to the health visitor. Be completely open. You need help.

you sound just like me 6 months ago.

I even rang my health visitor and asked her to get ss to pick my DS up.

Please ring your HV & ask if there is any funding available for under 2's to go to childminder or nursery for 10 hours a week.

@HarryLovesDraco technically she can put him up for adoption, but the system isn’t great for elective adoption here, it’s one of the few things the US does better than us. But hopefully OP will be able to get the help she needs so it doesn’t come to that

Yes cows milk allergy has been ruled out and so has silent reflux. He never seems as though he's in pain. More like he's distressed

The cows milk allergy made him very sick. And since moving on to lactose free he's much better in that way. He's teething but this seems like something else

Some of the lovely responses has made me tear up, thank you

Oh god I've been where you are OP

Has he been tested for allergies? Can you maybe try eliminating other foods milk (one at a time?) DD wasn't allergic but had a dairy intolerance. She was on nutramigen and got a bit better but things didn't really improve until we changed to Neocate and went soya free.

Hang on in there x

@kirstenraymonde I know she can technically, but as it's very unlikely to be the best thing for the child it won't be a straightforward matter. They would absolutely explore family networks before adoption. Including the father's extended family.

Call Homestart. X

Hi op. I felt similar to you when my dd was a baby. I hated it and had the most awful thoughts and feelings. It got better as she got older but you really need to get some support. Anti depressants are good but you need to talk to someone to off load. Insist on getting a referral for cbt from your gp and your hv. Sending you lots of positivity and hope.x

To post your feelings on here OP is extremely brave of you and the supportive messages you have received have hopefully given you something positive to look to and the knowledge that you aren't alone.
I remember when my son was born. I knew I loved him but I hated everything about being a Mom. I was severely depressed. In an abusive relationship. So being a Mom for a while was in the background as I had to deal with all the shit from his Dad. He convinced me I had gone mad so I got myself counselled and medicated. I remember being asked why do you say you don't have thoughts of harming yourself many times and despite that shitty point of my life it was always because I loved my son so I wanted to get better for him. Now he is nearly 4 and I am so grateful for my hard times as I treasure my role as a Mom now. It's hard and I struggle at times. We all experience motherhood differently and the first time I ever expressed I hated being a Mom and my life for the 1st yr of my son's life I felt the most vile woman ever. But it takes great strength to speak of the not so great and difficult thoughts we deal with.
I genuinely hope you find some peace and a way to deal with this difficult time. I wish I had a magic wand but everything will work out. I have always been lucky with my child as he was never a crying baby and always slept, but I have always struggled with tiredness unbelievably. So to be over tired and have a distressed baby demanding your time it must feel impossible alot of the time.

I hope your little one finds comfort real soon and I pray that Doctors get to the cause of his distress even sooner. I follow the ummumsy mum on Insta and her new son was crying constantly. A distressed cry all the time. Everything she posted he was screaming and screaming. Turned out he had tongue tie and something else I believe but that was only discovered after perseverence from her. My point is even though you aren't enjoying this experience very much you are recognising he is distressed so demand a doctor does something to help. My little one had an awful chest and bowel movements. I kept getting fobbed off. One day I just snapped and said no more. I was sick of being told he will grow out of these things when they were only getting worse. Then I started getting answers which helped me manage things better.

And remember its always good to talk and once again I commend your bravery for being so honest with how you feel. I cant say I know how you feel but I wish you all the happiness and hope you will soon find joy in motherhood xx