Having a shared bank account for DC's expenses?

[Nikitasol]

Dealing with EA ex about money and maintenance (going through CMS now due to the chaos). However, one thing I have mooted to him to help support DC into the future is a shared account specially set up to provide for DC school outings, trips, schools shoes etc, where we both pay in a certain fixed amount each month and which we can (with agreement) both draw on when uniform time comes round.

Has anyone done this? Am I mad? I'm actually trying to reduce communication with ex, but think this might be a way to make things simpler and not have to talk to him because that's already sorted.

If anyone has done this with an ex, could you tell me how you did it and if there are any unforeseen consequences of this, or how to manage it on a regular basis. I think it might help, but am nervous about it all going wrong too.

Also any bank recommendations for this?

Is your ex likely to get awkward about your child wearing say £50 school shoes when supermarket ones are under £30 or complain that you get M&S shirts rather than Asda ? (My ex would have no clue why I made those purchasing decisions and cba to argue why. He'd have no clue how much I spend on school stuff a year)

Don't get an account that can go overdrawn for obvious reasons.

I can't see how the account reduces contact. You still have to chase him for permission to get school trousers or whatever and you face the possibility of him trying to get hold of you to buy stuff that you'd find expensive like £100 on a coat, (my ex wouldn't have a clue if that was reasonable or not)

You've just answered your own question he is EA, you would be mad to do this. Me and my ex get on really well but I would never have a joint bank account with him. Plus if your in receipt of benefits it may affect them if your financially linked to another person.

Wouldn't he still be linked to your credit report if you do this?

Oh crikey, I hadn't considered any of those things! Oh god, that's a whole Pandora's box. Me and my bright ideas.

So is there anything else which could work or you would suggest in lieu of this?

Technically he doesn't have to pay for school stuff if he pays maintenance. Is he likely to pay extra for school related costs?

If you read posts on here, there are cases where both parents agree to halve costs for a school trip but the abusive one decides not to pay after the first installment.

Do you have a ballpark figure of what school currently costs per year? It would be easiest for you to get a monthly amount that you use as necessary. So say you spend £240 per year but the spending is like £100 before the start of the year for school uniform in the next size up then £140 over the rest of the year, getting £10pm extra for his half would be the least hassle for you. Is there a fixed cost that he might like to take over like bus fares or school dinners?

No, you’d be mad to do this. Could affect tax credits and other benefits not to mention he’d be able to check up on what you’re spending. He pays maintenance and then you spend it as you see fit. It’s the only way to go. Also keep in mind that lots of expenses with DCs aren’t about buying stuff as such. It’s the increased energy bills because you have the hearing on more, the additional rent because you need an additional bedroom etc.

Never link yourself financially to an ex. It can affect your credit rating and especially in an EA relationship it gives them power and control. No. Big no.

He'd have the account cleared out the first time you did something which pissed him off.

Why would he be buying uniform, are they living with him half the time?

Another don’t do it . It is his form of control . Maintenance is to be spent how you see fit. You don’t need his approval.
He also may well claim this is maintenance and ask for cms to reduce it

DH has this with his ex for their DD. He pays $20 into it each week. She puts in what she likes. He also pays maintenance to her separate to this. However the account is in her name only, he has no access to it. It gets used or uniforms, activities etc. It works really well for them as DH doesn't really care when his ex uses a bit for furniture for her house or borrows from it when she needs to. And it means she doesn't need to ask for extra money all the time for uniforms and activities. Win win really.
Something tells me your ex wouldn't be anywhere near as happy with that set up as DH is though

Hmmm this is all food for thought
.I hadn't realised there would be such huge ramifications from this.

He pays 200pcm through cms and yes I'm in receipt of wtc so would that affect all that too?