Benefits

[LJ17xx]

So I have seen some terrible comments about people on benefits. I am a lone parent, receive no money from the father and have just moved into our own place. I wanted to get settled and everything and then focus on nursery&work. I am dying to get back to work. I just feel so down about some things people say, about scrounging from the government.

Honestly just ignore them .
Do what you think is right . People are fed by the media and think about stero types .

Don't take any notice. You & your dc have as much right to food, clothes and a roof over your head as anyone else. Benefits are a safety net you are entitled to.
I'm a self funding single mum but I still get snide comments about irresponsible single parents. My ds goes to school clean & well fed. He is loved & happy. I work as hard as I can to provide for him.
If you are doing your best, what other people think is irrelevant.

People will judge you no matter what unfortunately. So best to not care.

I agree. Sadly you really cant win here so you need to focus on what is best for you and your child.

I am a single Mom to a nearly 4 year old. Even though I work full time I have regularly been scrutinized for my 'decision' to being on my own and apparently scrounging from the Government. As I have a mortgage, I was told I needed to urgently get back in to work or lose our home, so when my son was 11 months old I returned to work. People have this huge misconception that you rake it in being on your own with children. Mainly because of what is in the press I feel, but I honestly dont know how they do it. Because despite working full time, I am by no means 'raking it in'. We struggle towards the end of every month.

Everyone can have an opinion but very few know the reality of the income someone is really getting. People can be so cruel and I feel like when your child is brought into the debate it does hurt more because you only want the best for your child. I used to get upset, but the fact is no one had a clue the low income I was in receipt of. We would be classed as living in poverty if people knew what we live off a month so that's why I dont rise to the scrutiny as they have no clue. All that matters is that my son is happy, clean, fed, clothed, kept warm and loved, and that I make it work every month x

You will need to develop a thick skin as a single parent. Don’t let it get you down. I have been single for over 10 years now and believe me, I have heard it all. Some people have no shame whatsoever and I have learnt to turn it back on them where necessary. So the rude woman in the playground who says ‘do all your children have the same father’, I said ‘would you ask me that if I had a ring on my finger?’

You get the idea...why do you need to know? Is that any of your business? Look people on the eye, hold your head up. Don’t let them get away with their prejudice.

Remember that you are not obliged to tell people you receive benefits and they have no right to know. If it helps, I have three children, I teach full time and I am still able to claim a little in tax credits and three are people out there who, knowing all that, still make single parent quips in front of me. I figure this is more about their insecurity and sod all to do with me!

You will be fine. Do what is right for you and your children.

There is no difference between you and a stay at home mum who's partner is working.
You are both making the decision for your DC, the only difference is your DCs dad has decided not to provide for her financially at all whereas with a SAHM in a couple their dad is supporting them.

If anyone should be judged its him definitely not you.

Also with the 'costing the taxpayer' concern, it can often cost more if a single mum is working on a low wage, as there is then supplemented childcare costs paid by them, topped up universal credit/working tax credits, and low tax payment depending on how low the annual wage is.

Thinking about it I've ever heard people slag off mums that do work for "not looking after their children" and "sticking them in child care for someone else to raise them" you really can't win.

yy bubbles I cost the tax payer a fortune for several years when my dc's were at nursery. Roughly 10k a year in childcare tax credits and I had to top that up to pay the fees. I'll never earn enough to pay that tax back.

However I am a mean pushy mum who intends my DC's to be higher rate tax payers, so maybe they'll cancel out what I've received.

Thanks so much everyone! Your comments do give me that little bit of a confidence boost. And you're right, you can't win. Having just moved out of my mums house there was he whole thing of scrounging from my mum, I paid my way 🙄 and no because I've moved out it's about the benefits.