Child Maintenance Amount

[WrinklyDad]

I know this topic has been done to death, but I am looking for some thoughts on the amount payable to my ex partner (not married).

Short summary, ex and I split, have an amazing little boy (almost 7) who we have agreed to share custody. He's finally settled back into school after taking the break up hard and we live about 10 mins from each other.

I currently do not have a job, but previously have earned enough money to provide for us but until I find work again I have no income. With that in mind, I have suggested £200 per month and promised to review when I get a job again and I've money coming in again. I based that number on the number of nights he will be with me (2.5 nights per week average) and the national average salary and rounded it up to £200 per month. I might not earn that much straight away when I start work again but even then i have no plans to reduce this below £200/month.

I will contribute to other costs of raising him, school uniform, clubs, presents, parties etc and will continue to buy him stuff myself anyway

Does this seem fair at this stage? I have been reading some comments on this site and it really shocks me how some dads feel like they can pay next to nothing or even just walk away. I do not want to look like one of those dads :D

Just interested in others with more experience in this matter.

That’s sounds very reasonable to me. It’s nice to see a dad offer something that reflects his financial situation.
My ex doesn’t pay me anything at all, he does buy her clothes but only when he feels like It not when she needs it. He does spend an awful lot of money on gifts (not during birthdays or Xmas) that she just doesn’t need, but he feels it’s justified. He has a cash in hand job that pays around £250 a week and his girlfriend claims as a single parent. But that’s none of my business apparently

Mine who doesn’t work pays me £7 per week so yes seems very fair

Hi OP,

I don't understand. Are you having DC 2.5 nights a week and your exP having DC the rest?

Hi thanks for your thought and comments.

Cat12321 - yes i am having him for 2.5 nights per week, exP having him for the other time.

What’s 2.5 nights ? You cant share a night.. so you either have him 2 nights or 3?

Technically you don’t earn anything so don’t have to pay anything so £200 is a good amount.

Hi Coco

2.5 nights is 5 over a fortnight. So one night week and a very long alternate weekend

Hi mate. Sounds like you're doing the right thing to me. Technically, you don't have to pay that much while you're out of work - but as you rightly say, that doesn't mean you shouldn't. I have equal shared care, so technically don't have to pay. But I earn a lot more than my daughters' mum does, so I pay her some maintenance anyway. I figure it's about doing the right thing - kids are always watching, and learning about how to live from the example we set. So kudos for doing it right.

Just one thought from someone who has been split for two years now - have you thought about a more equal split of time? Kids need quality time with both parents, and you may find you are less connected to their lives than you would want to be if you have 2-3 nights a week.

It's not much but if you're not working you don't have it.

My x pays 500 per child. I work full time but only earn about a quarter of what my x does because I was out of the work place a decade. The maintenance is still only about 1/4 of my income. We need it.

The financial sacrifices of parenting should always be equal so so long as you don't fall in to the trap of thinking that they'll be ok without your financial input you'll be in the right frame of mind to consider the amount as your circumstances improve and when you get a job.

I remember after having been on benefits for ages when my x finally started paying maintenance I felt like I could hold up my head again and that really filtered down to my kids. We all had more pride. Even my x I suspect. But he was never unemployed so different circs.

Good luck, and always give more than the minimum you can ''get away'' with giving as that's such an insult and it does just pass on the sacrifices to somebody else (state, or your x) which is not right.

It all gets easier.

Interesting to see other peoples situations like this. Some good thoughts here thank you.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad - work is a factor here, I will probably be working up to an hour away in Sheffield, so more even split could be harder. Will reassess once I have a job :-)

My unemployed ex pays £5 a month for 2 children at the moment. Due to the circumstances I have them full time too. So from here your offer is exceptionally generous.

I think you are doing a good thing. Legally if you’re unemployed you would have to pay £7 a week. If you are paying £200 a month and having the child 2.5 days / week - that equates to earning £30k Gross a year.