Waiting for the door to go

[Littlemissloopylou]

Laid in bed, unable to sleep, waiting for the letter box to rattle.

It's my DS's birthday tomorrow (today technically). DV issues against me and them by their dad - intensive violence, anger and agression. He doesn't bother with them anymore. He is not allowed at my house due to previous harassment and intimidation issues.

Last year he posted a card. In the middle of the night. Somewhere between 1 and 6 am. Outside my house where he isn't allowed to be in the middle of the night.

So, it's quarter to two, I can't sleep, I'm waiting for the letter box to rattle and I can't stop shaking.

I have no advice OP but couldn't read and run, offering an ear of you need one and

Ok well take a deep breath. Sounds like if he does come around he's just going to post a card and naff off. But if you are that worried it may be worth calling the police (non emergency) and letting them know the history, they may be able to help.

If you can't sleep can you try to distract yourself with something? Reading a book or watching a movie etc? Alternatively stay on here and chat

Thank you both.

Part of me is glad he sends a card at least, I'd be horrified if he forgot completly but it's the thought of him out there even if all he does is post a card it's like he's giving me the finger, kind of "I'm not supposed to but just try and stop me".

Distraction - apart from this OP how's your day been?

Happy Birthday to your DS 🎂🎉😀
I haven't got any advice that will be useful, but wanted you to know I'm thinking of you Stay strong x

Been laid up I'll all day so plenty of time to worry sick about this tonight!

Thank you for birthday greetings. Think I might start a book, don't want to watch TV incase he hears it.

Plans for DS birthday? Is there a cake? Im hormonal and obsessing about cake atm

Massive cake - vanilla sponge with buttercream topped with jellybeans and popping candy!

I'll have some of that!

Have you made this cake OP? Sounds divine!

Sending hugs OP I had a similar issue with Ex non-Mol in place and so I know the feeling of helplessness. I hope you have managed to drift off to sleep or if not have got yourself buried in a lovely book

Sounds like he knows exactly what he's doing. A two finger action to the order. Why can't he put a stamp on it and post? Hasn't he breached the order by doing this - and would you be prepared to report his breach?

Feel for you OP. Hope you're okay.

Morning, no I got my friend to make the cake to DS's specifications!

Got buried in a book and drifted off just after 3 I think. Up to use the loo at 6 and he'd been.

Yeah he did it on purpose to upset me instead of posting it. It's a guaranteed time where he can still get to me but to outside parties look like he's making a nice gesture and therefore I look petty for reporting it.

Card was a generic birthday card saying "to ds from dad" so not even worth the bother. Most people would see their DS's birthday as an opportunity to shower them with love, this bloke sees it as an opportunity to torment me.

I wouldn’t care about “looking petty”, I’d report it anyway. He’s been to your house in the dead of night, in clear breach of the non molestation order, when he could perfectly well have posted the card instead. He obviously didn’t do this out of love for his child, he did it to intimidate you and the bastard has succeeded. If you don’t report him, he will celebrate that he’s got away with it, and this game will continue and possibly escalate.

Please report this- it’s obvious he’s just doing it for his own sick reasons. At best just to be an arsehole and at worst to test the water. He needs to know this is not acceptable and that you won’t back down.
Your DSs birthday should be a day of excitement and celebration for both of you and that twat has managed to make it all about him. Please don’t let him continue to bully you, you’ve obviously done an incredible thing in escaping him and protecting your family, you can do this