Struggling

[burgen]

Why is this so fucking hard? I can cope with the parenting part. The working part. The loneliness. But why does he still try to control me? Why is he still bullying me? Why is he unable to see what a prick he's been for the last 10 years?
He damn near broke me. It took me 6 years to escape. 6 years of hell. I'm almost finished with the freedom programme. It has made me so so angry at him. But he is telling me that he is going to see the children 5 days a week for forever. And I'm not allowed to have any extra time with them at all.
I don't know what I want. But I'm sat here in tears because he's laughed in my face tonight for 'pretending he abused me'. I lost my temper in front of the kids so now I'm feeling guilty about that. I still feel like I've made it all up because he never actually hit me. Nobody believes me. Not even my mum really.
I'm just alone. And he's able to move on and look like the perfect parent and like he's the wounded party in all this because he did so much for me and I refused to even try and work it out

Hey, sorry you did don't get any replies,. Hope your ok. I don't know what to say other than keeping fighting. The psychological abuse is far worse than the physical I'm my opinion, but it's invisible, people don't really get how horrific it is, till they experience it. Laughing in your face and mocking you is abuse. Stay strong. Don't let him know he's hurt you. Take it a day at a time. Sending you a huge hug x

Sorry you're struggling. Hugs for you here too

Do you mean he is coming to your house 5 days a week ? How old are the children?
My only advice is minamise any contact with him. Discuss nothing except access . IF he is coming to your house put a stop to this

Because he's a controlling loser who has nothing better to do with his life. The trick is to stop communicating at all beyond basic greeting & info on dc.
I have an ex who sees our Ds at my house on the pretext that going back to his involves a 2.5 hour round trip. So I allow it for the sake of Ds.
But I Hoover or mow the lawn (very noisy) or do the weekly shop or go running.
And he won't see them 5 days a week for ever. My Ds is 9 and doesn't want to see his dad so much now. He'd rather play football with his friends. For me his hold is already passing. It will for you too. Hang in there.