A little bit of Research

[Myrax]

Hi Guys,

I'm looking for a little bit of help/advice/suggestions - I'm currently doing a little bit of research into a few things and being a lone parent is one of them.

if you're willing to share;

I'd like to know what your challenges are as a lone parent, maybe just the top 3.

What steps you've taken to overcome these challenges?

What you wish you knew 12 months ago?

The reason is; I'm going through a little bit of a hard time at the moment and I'd like to get an idea of what is ahead of me as a lone parent with a view of getting ahead of it.

Any replies would be massively helpful.

Thank you.

M

Hiya
My biggest challenge/worry is that everything is on me. And that can be overwhelming at times as you are always doing or busy with something. I am a lone parent and am both mom and dad to my son. No one can tell you how exactly its going to be. How you will be affected. I've just took each day as it comes and gradually it has got better.
My son became my purpose. I suffered with depression due to my relationship breakdown a few years back. Everything was a million times harder. I found no enjoyment in life or motherhood. But i dragged myself out of the rut and built a better life for me and my son. We have such a happy home now. The bond and love we share is incredible.
You know what, I never would have dreamed about being a single parent but this has been a blessing. The last few years have been extremely difficult but extremely blissful sharing my life with my child. When I look back to the start of everything i never ever ever would have thought id be here now. I was too weak and obsessed with feeling failure that my family didn't work. But i cherish everyday and am so proud of my son and proud of myself that this shy, timid pushover is actually handling life well on my own and enjoying it.
I know going forward I will constantly hit bad times but I also know i can handle and come through any thing. Also because we are in such a happy place and we have overcome such a diabolical family life when my son was born , I dont really let the shit get to me as much if you see what i mean?
Everything happens for a reason and I've trusted that in life.
You will be fabulous. Those fears you have now will only empower you in a few months time xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

I think it's reassuring knowing that you've experienced what you mentioned and have come through it a stronger person!

I'm sure I'll get a handle on it, I'm trying to get an idea of the pitfalls that are on their way!

Thanks again x

Mom guilt has always been quite a struggle for me. There simply aren't enough hours in the day so you end up feeling you aren't giving your child the best. But I think thats just part of being a Mom!
I regret not making more time for myself. I dont think i could even find time but you can lose yourself abit if you don't look after yourself too. I guess I find the loneliness at night hard. Adult company is wonderful but id take being lonely after my son goes to bed over living on eggshells, cooking dinners for my ex to not come home for weeks at a time, being emotionally and physically abused and financially abused. Being on my own has allowed me to realise my worth and although he is young I feel my son will respect me for it when he grows up. It is important for me to be a role model to him. To prove that life is just as good on your own as it is sharing it with a partner, and that you have to be a whole already and not look for that in anyone else.
I think back to how I was treated and ultimately what made me change things was I was mortified by the though that my son would grow up thinking it was acceptable to treat people so badly.
A new chapter is awaiting x

NGC2017, thank you for replying; that's a very touching story.

I'm glad your situation has improved and you're now happy!

All the best,

x