Ex had new baby how did contact go?

[Louw12345]

Ex partner has had a new baby on saturday.
His access weekend is this weekend coming but dosent want to has the kids so his new partner and baby can settle in.

How has contact gone for you?

We were in this situation recently and kept to normal arrangements. We had needed flexibility for not knowing exactly when the birth would be etc and wanted the kids to feel included. I'd had a c-section on the Tuesday and we had them the following weekend (albeit one night instead of the usual two), then had them again the following weekend. It's normally EOW. I felt fine and it was lovely for the kids to meet their half sibling when she was still less than a week old. If the mum has had a difficult birth (or there are any other issues with her and/or baby) it might be kind to be flexible as long as it's explained. Even a day visit would be good, continuity is so important imo. Hope all goes well for everyone.

I was flexible when ex had a new baby. Dd got to go up on her visit day- ex asked my permission (not that he needed it)- and dd felt very included.
Everything hit the rocks though when ex and partner split and he is now trying to juggle two dcs by two ex's.
Dd is lucky if it's monthly visits just now.

Could you suggest the have them even for a day to meet baby?
I personally would only let them cancel one weekend though. Ex and partner knew there was existing dcs to think about before they committed to adding in another to the mix.

*they

One of the children have been very worried regarding the baby and worried she won't get much time with dad and step mum for the past 3 weeks.
They was ment to meet baby sunday but dad went out sat night and slept through till 5pm
I have been extremely flexible overy the past 3 weeks. I was told by them the due date was the 9th hos weekend but it actually wasn't till the 14th and on saturday day I had to miss my work placement for university because he was too tired to have the children (baby was born at 12.25am). Now I understand a baby comes when they want but on the over hand I shouldn't be missing out on hours for my degree. He didn't ask his family to help out either.

As far as I'm aware the labour was fine baby has infection having antibiotics home tomorrow.

The only thing is I have to make my hours up which I'm struggling to do as my mentor isn't always in so can only do her hours I should be doing 20 hrs a week and it's at 16hrs. Iv lost 7hrs on saturday. Plus 4hrs a week.

They are meeting baby this week.

I'd be still sending them.
The baby hasn't even been here a week and dad has let them down on Sunday becauae he went out-not because of the baby (which I would have be understanding about).
It's up to him to work out babysitting etc on his weekend as that is what he signed up for when he and his dp planned their baby.

I had a baby with my dp 7 months ago and my DSD comes even more than she did before. She’s been coming every weekend till Tuesday morning ever since whereas before it was EOW. I did find it hard at times but it was important she be there to bond with the baby.

In your situation he should still be seeing his children. All that ‘we’re too tired’ crap is rubbish. After all, what would they do if they were all theirs? This type of thing affects children, makes them think they aren’t wanted anymore.

The fact he went out is disgusting too. Is the baby not even home from hospital yet and he’a gone on a night out and not wanting his kids to visit?

How old are the children? Was he this flakey before the baby too or is it just recently?

timelord92 this is more point exactly, and there's only so much I can do at home to keep them busy or keep the one that has worries from worrying.

Yes baby was still in hospital. 2 teenagers and twins age 8 and a 6 year old.

Tbh he's always been flakey. Stopped seeing them when he got with gf. Starting seeing them on and off. Then since they announced the pregnancy he's been brilliant never missed contact days etc. Tbh i think he inly sees them because of his gf. Kids say he does more around the house ie tea, cleaning putting them to bed etc so thought he was really sorting himself out.