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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

When is enough actually enough?

2 replies

heatherxo · 09/03/2018 20:56

My son will be 3 this June. His father and I split up around 2 years ago now.
He stays with his dad Thursday night through Sunday morning.

Just last week I witnessed my son being fed a sausage roll at 3pm. This was the first thing he had eaten that day.
-His dad "forgets" to feed him breakfast on a regular basis.
Ex feeds DS mostly ready meals and easy stuff. Although he's supposed to be a "chef", he has never once cooked a meal for our son.

He doesn't get up when my son wakes in the mornings, he is left to do what he wants until his dad can be bothered getting out of bed. Or ex will get DS to go back to sleep with him until late afternoon. (Ex told me this himself)

He leaves DS with his new partner a lot so he can see friends. Just last night he called me saying DS had fallen off the bed and hit his head hard - not even 10 minutes later he was away out to see his friends and play pool "for half an hour"

He takes DS to nursery on Friday's. I have just had a message from one of the other mother's saying she witnessed EX grabbing DS by the arm, hard, this morning and Ds was apparently screaming because of this.

I have had many people, including my own family, telling me that EX doesn't have a care when walking down the street with DS and that many times DS has ran over the road, with EX just watching like he doesn't care.

I don't want to be the "bad mother" who doesn't let her child see his father, but it breaks my heart sending him to his dad every weekend, not knowing if he's ok.

My 2yo baby screams when I turn the lights off because he has to sit in darkness in his father's house.
I am sat here writing this in tears. I am due to leave work in 2 weeks for maternity, I only work weekends, but I'm considering calling in tomorrow and telling them I can't come in - and maybe even quitting because is it right if I still send my son to his dads? I don't know what to do anymore Sad

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 09/03/2018 21:39

This sounds terrible, it must be awful for you to see your little boy being neglected like this. Is there a court order for contact? If not, I'm tempted to say to stop sending him. Would it be safe for you to do that? If you can, speak to a solicitor, although I know that's not always possible because of the cost. I had a similar situation with my two boys when they were little, it's a very difficult situation. Ultimately though, your little boys safety and well-being is what matters most here x

Kingsclerelass · 10/03/2018 07:53

Does your ex want to have his ds or does he need to be persuaded? Does he only do it so you can work?

I had similar issues with my ex for a while. It stopped after he returned Ds after a night away, needing immediate a&e treatment. After that I made him see dc at my house for a while so I was always nearby, and now he only has him over night 1 w/e in 7.

I don't think you can carry on as it is. Your child's safety comes first. Will your family help? And start keeping a diary of any issues.

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