Hi folks a friend of mine is having a few problems with her STBXH and she's at a loss what to do now so wondered if anyone had any suggestions that might help.
Friend has DC resident with her and was trying to fit a part time job round childcare and STBXH's work. Sadly this did not work at all and she has had to call in and cancel with work a lot because her ex has changed his days of at very short notice. FWIW STBXH is the boss at his job and is in charge of rotas which are usually done well in advance.
It has gotten to the point she is afraid of losing her job because of all the mucking about and she says the DC is struggling with the lack of structure.
In order to make life easier for herself and to give DC more consistency and regularity she asked for STBXH to have DC on certain set days - say every other weekend for example - and has offered STBXH any other days He would like at his own choosing as long as it is consistent.
STBXH has strung her along "sorting" this out but has suddenly turned round on this agreement and said its not going to happen and she and DC will just have to work round him. It seems very much like his only way now of holding control over her but to make it worse anytime she tried to get things back on track he throws "are you denying me access?" at her. She most certainly does not want to stop access she just wants regularity for DC. It seems as though he is trying to push her into breaking and telling him that yes she is denying access, but she doesn't know why he is doing that?
He has also said that if she did stop access he would not take her to court to fight for it because he cannot afford it but he makes decent money - roughly 50k a year so he's hardly strapped for cash. She has used most of her free legal aid already.
Her lawyer has not said anything about what she can do with regards to this other than suggesting mediation. Sadly I do not think this would work as her STBXH is very good at manipulation and making out like he is very reasonable etc so I believe he would say all the right things at mediation only to not follow through on any of it in practice.
She is at her wits end and stressed doesn't even cover it! DC doesn't know if they are coming or going and STBXH seems more intent on making things very difficult for her rather than making DC wellbeing priority.
Is there anything she can do?