Ex cancelling on holidays

[surlycurly]

My ex has just text me to yell me he's not taking our children for a week at Easter as he said he would. I have a trip booked using some vouchers I got for my 40th birthday. He did this in February too although I didn't have anything booked other than a Valentines meal. He never used to do this but since he met his new fiancée it's been more and more frequent. I don't know what to do- he never does anything for the children and I don't see why I should cancel my holiday. Grrr. Anyone else in the same situation?

Totally out of order on his part. Do you have a mutual agreement or is contact court ordered?

I would get tough with him. Respond back (via email) and tell me that as Easter holiday contact was agreed on (x date) you will be dropping the children off as agreed and it is upto him to make childcare provision.

I would nip this chopping and changing in the bud. If he doesn’t agree, get a formal contact order so you know where you stand.

It's all been informal so far as I have better holidays than him so I've accommodated to a degree. I just think now he's at it and I'm not happy. I agree re the childcare being his problem- I'm away with my mum and have given the au pair the week off as a result so there's no one else for me to ask. I'll make that point to him as he's the one changing everything. Again. Thanks!

It’s his problem not yours. He agreed and he’s now rescinding. Upto him to sort this out. Could he be going this to be difficult and because he knows to have plans? Your entitled to a life and some downtime. Let him sort it.

My ex does this all the time and it's very frustrating. Last year in the summer holidays he had agreed to 3 weeks as usual but it ended up being only 3 days.

I'm not sure you can force him to do it unfortunately- I have looked into my own situation and it seems the RP can be held to the court order but not the NRP. I really sympathise, it's hard.

You can’t force him to turn up for contact, court just says you have to make the child free at x time, if he doesn’t collect there’s nothing they can do. Going to court would be a waste of time and money. No one can force a dad to actually see there kid, it’s sad and frustrating.

Time to look at reassessing CMS to reflect how many nights he actually does have them rather than supposed to have them?

your poor DC

Does he know you are going away ?

He does know. And he doesn't care. He sees it as my problem. I have had to change my booking for the previous week and will take one of the kids with me. The other will stay with the aupair. I've had, yet again, a huge amount of hassle because of his lack of organisation and consideration. He's a selfish idiot.

You're allowing him to belittle and push back to you, tell him you've got arrangements and he needs to have his children, it's not an option and he needs to prioritise his family

Yes l agree but ultimately if he won't do it then short of leaving the kids on his doorstep and walking away, what else can you do

Yell him that he is forcing a formal arrangement now and put one in place.

Formal arrangements mean nothing sofa, if he refuses to have his kids on his weekend there is nothing the op can do. No court in the world can physically make a dad turn up to collect his kids!