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Child maintenance AIBU

3 replies

User1017 · 28/02/2018 17:45

Just looking for some advice.. my dc is 7 years old. Myself and my ex split around 3/4 years ago for good but before then we were more off than on due to his gambling addiction. I found this out while I was pregnant unfortunately and it progressively got worse. In the past years he had stole from myself and dc savings to cover up gambling etc and made me feel like I was losing my mind when denying things and pretending all was ok. I don’t want to go to into it but he had a way of convincing us he was ready to change and would for a few months at a time (so I think).one thing was he felt he had to pay any debts off for new start etc, I agreed to give a loan in the hope of a new start n desperately wanted my family to work out. Since then we obviously split again and I cut all ties as that was last desperate chance. Basically he has paid maybe £150 every few months here and there, nothing regular and can go 6 months or so without payments towards loan or dc. I’m far too soft and it’s now got to point I am thinking of claiming child maintenance. He has a job so I don’t see where his money is going as he claims he is no longer gambling, has ignored me re money which is embarrassing on my part having to ask for the 4th month in a row now. If he would at least communicate and give me something I wouldn’t feel so disrespected. I have so far coped by working myself and using any little savings I have had but I’m now struggling. AIBU to go through official channels to claim money? Even as I type this I realise I am being such a push over and maybe too used to coping on my own and feeling “sorry” for him almost? Strange. I’m too soft and I know this but it was someone I had loved and wanted to build my family with. I just need to know am I being petty by claiming now

OP posts:
Thebluedog · 28/02/2018 17:56

Get the CSA involved and let them sort it out. I think it can be taken from source, so he wouldn’t have chance to gamble it away.

Start to get strong and angry - he’s completely taking the piss out of you and your dc

User1017 · 28/02/2018 18:21

Thank you, he is isn’t he! I need remind myself of this. I wouldn’t mind again if he seen dc a lot and provided for him when there but he’s only just recently started taking him overnight once a week most weeks but not always. He doesn’t buy clothes or birthday presents or anything and I supply everything back and forth. I also again wouldn’t mind so much if he was getting his life together for dc’s sake and putting money to use but his promise to get a flat etc has been going on for years and he still lives with parents and isn’t ideal situation even for dc but I don’t say much and let all this slide, surely least he could do is give something to dc’s care or at least pay loan he has left me with. I was also left with contracts etc I’ve only just recently been able to get out of but he got use from till recent weeks.

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 01/03/2018 17:02

I absolutely would go to the cms in your position

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