Feeling so sad for my little one

[NooNooMummy]

How can it be legal for a father, who has 2x days off work every week and lives v close by, to see his child for just one weekend (and less than 48hrs) every month?

Clearly, he's an asshole but right now I'm too exhausted to go to court again to hear his lies and nonsense about how busy his life is now. We have a court order that requires him to see his child frequently at least every 2 weeks plus some specific dates that he offered. He just sees her on the dates he'd specified...

Aside from the impact that this is having on me (exhausted after 2 years of it), I know that it's really hurting my child to feel unwanted by him. (No, I don't say horrible things - I'm totally positive about him when we discuss him).

Please, please advise me. After another round of emails today, I'm feeling so sad knowing that he's not going to change his behaviour to us. I don't ever want to have to discuss this with him again.

It is pefectly legal, you have a ourt
order thats states as much.
You need to come to terms with this.
My heart goes out to your child but you dont have to sugar coat everything for her. Tell your child its not her fault and that she is very loveable. She needs to understand thst her father has a problem
For whatever reasons you and the father of your child divorced. Why are you emailing your ex, you cannot make this man want his child.
Please take a step back and realise you cant change things. Once you accept these things, life will change for the better.

Lots and lots of other adults in her life to love her?
I would feel sad too but it can’t change so do what you can to ensure there is lots of loving adults around.
You sound a great mum, forget this doughnut of her dad.

My ex has walked out of my kids lives although. And one is a baby. How you can not want to see your own baby I will never know. But yes it's perfectly legal.

He doesnt sound like the sort of man I would want to be trying to put in my childs lives more tbh, dont feel sad for you child they are much better off with you.

Thanks everyone for reminding me of what's important.

I guess I'm struggling with deciding whether to break her contact with him now that I've tried everything - what's in my child's best interests has been determined by the court and CAFCAS and her father ignores it. Feeling that long term, no father is better than having this nonsense going on forever. Honestly, the only reason I go along with his behaviour is because I'm exhausted and really need that child free time to catch up with things (mostly work!). Do I have the right to do that now?

I feel like this about my nearly 13 DS and his (real/bio) dad. I encouraged and promoted a relationship for years and years but his dad only wants contact on his terms at his convenience. It has taken me a long time to reach this conclusion, but ultimately you can’t make someone love a child the way they deserve to be loved. For whatever reason, some fathers (and mothers to a lesser extent) cannot find it in themselves to prioritise their children. All you can do for your child is do your best, encourage other positive adult role models and whilst you can support their relationship with the non-resident parent, you don’t need to inflate the importance of a dad who has made a choice to have little presence in their life....I think that is damaging to a child’s self-esteem!! Of course, you’re still left with the responsibility and burden ...nothing can legally make a crap non resident parent shoulder that.

I think you'd be better off making other arrangements to give yourself a break: a trusted babysitter or maybe another lone parent who would be interested in a childcare swap. Do you have any family close by? If not is it worth making plans to move closer?