Wanting to get back with my ex

[GypsieQueen]

Hi, I split with my ex when I was three months pregnant. I suffered terrible ante-natal depression and OCD during my pregnancy which made me impossible to live with and my ex could not handle it and moved in with his parents. It drove a massive rift between him and I. After our baby girl was born I moved 3 hours away from him. He contested the move but in the end I won the legal battle and I moved away. I moved to live near my sister who promised me she would be so supportive to me and my daughter, but that hasn't happened. She has looked after her about three times in over a year and all of those times begrudgingly. We have now fallen out - I asked her if her husband could assemble an item for my child, she said no and it has resulted in us falling out big time. in the meantime, I have found myself dreadfully lonely living up here. I haven't made any good friends. I miss my ex dreadfully. I want to go back to him, I want us to be a family, but he seems to hate me. I don't know what to do. I want to get back with my ex, to move myself and my daughter back to where we came from and for us to be a family, but he hates me. Where do I go from here, do I stay where I am and try to make the best of it? Do I try to get back with my ex which seems almost impossible? Please help.

There is a third option.

Move closer to where your ex is so he can have a relationship with his child. Work on yourself - friends, work, etc. Focus on your mental health and your childs wellbeing.

Only time will tell if you can even manage friendship but if you're unhappy where you are, have no support and any kind of access if a nightmare, moving back May still be a good idea

Of course he hates you! You took his daughter three hours away and now you are expecting him, after all the crap that's been thrown at him, to welcome you back with open arms.

Move back to where you were before, establish contact and become friends first and reconnect on a parental level. Perhaps after a period of readjustment you can tell him you weren't well and had depression. But in fairness if things had worked out for you near your sister you wouldn't be thinking this way. You need to find a support network to help you - you can't expect him to pick up the pieces of your broken life because you've hit rock bottom. Sorry if I appear blunt but you've hit a nerve!

Thank you for all your honest responses. I should have said that before I moved away, I had tried very hard to get back with my ex, but was still suffering from OCD, in relation to our newborn baby, and my ex could not cope with that and he stayed away from us. I felt so isolated that I decided to move near my sister. It didn't work out as I'd hoped and now my OCD is so much better, I realise it was a big mistake to move.

I don’t think it’s fair of him to ‘hate’ you for moving, you were desperate for support and he wouldn’t help you, the mother of his child. I’m not sure he’s much of a better option than your sister at this stage but I do agree that to love back nearer to him in order to allow a relationship for your DD sake is a good option if you have other support in the area?

Definitely do not try to rush into any kind of relationship with him yourself.