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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Never done this before but feel i need to say how i feel!

4 replies

rubbishmum1980 · 19/01/2018 18:41

I think this is just an opportunity for me to vent! i never wanted to be a mum, there were many reasons, an abusive child hood and never really feeling close to my own mum! well at the grand old age of 33 i had my daughter. I never admitted to anyone just how difficult i found being a mum! it was a difficult pregnancy, complications after giving birth, and my little girl had health issues. I was left to bring my baby up on my own! when i look back at the memories of my little girl whos now four, those precious times that everyone tells you to cherish being a baby, all i remember was sadness, frustration, sleepless nights, i wished her baby time away. I wished every day away. I couldnt wait for her to grow up! even now im still struggling, sometimes i dont feel ive fully bonded with her. Shes head strong and difficult at times. I get frustrated easily, i shout, and on occassions ive smacked her and felt awful! then i feel myself emotionally pulling away from her! Its just a constant roller coaster! And do you know what im lonely, im tired of going to work, balancing my home, my car, and being a mum and everything else! When ever i have tried to talk to a guy it always seems to go wrong!
Im just wondering if its possible to have post natal depression this late on, or wether my own ruined childhood has mae me like this???anyway i just needed to put pen to paper so to speak!

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 19/01/2018 19:08

You sound like a wonderful person who needs some support. It could well be PND. Talk to your GP. There are lots of books with useful advice on how to speak to your little one and get hem to co-operate like How To Talk To Little Kids So They Listen. I too feel like a rubbish mum today. I've got the flu and been snappy and impatient all day.

rubbishmum1980 · 19/01/2018 19:42

Sorry your not well,and thank you for your kind words! im just getting over a nasty flu bug, il have a look for those books. My Drs are not very helpful, they like to just throw anti depressants my way!

OP posts:
ohamIreally · 19/01/2018 19:56

You are not a rubbish mum you are doing everything and it's natural you feel tired and frustrated. I've been a single mum since my DD was 5 and I genuinely don't know how I would have done the baby years with no respite. The good news is it is going to start getting easier for you now, your child is becoming a person, will start to be good company and more independent. Hang in there.

ohamIreally · 19/01/2018 20:00

Also, you say that you weren't a good mum because you wished that time away. As long as your child is loved and cared for and happy THAT is what being a good mum is. Whether you enjoyed it or not is pretty immaterial. Most mums don't like sleepless nights, nappies and vomit so don't beat yourself up. Flowers

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