Not so happy partner :(

[ChilliCheeseMama]

So I found out I was pregnant last week, and was absolutely thrilled! Came to telling my partner and he is devastated, saying I am ruining his life and our future. It was unplanned and I have been taking the pill so I really think this must have happened for a reason 😳!

He wants me to have an abortion as he'll resent me and the baby if I continue the pregnancy, he says we have too much to do in our lives, as I am just graduating university this summer, but he is stuck in a crappy job/living situation. He is in his mid 30s and I am in my 20s, but he has really been acting like a teenage boy.

It looks as though I may be having to take the route of solo parent as I can't put myself through the process of an abortion, and he doesn't want to continue being with me if I keep it, but I am so lost in the feelings of sadness and resentment to him, when I should be feeling really happy as I am finally having a baby 🙁

I'm not sure how far along I am currently, but am at least 5+ weeks, finding out on Monday when I'll be able to have my first scan depending how far gone I actually am.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and their partner has come around? Or has anyone had this horrible feeling of guilt and joy at the same time? Does the relationship guilt melt away? I'm so torn, and my mum is being fantastic but I'm finding it hard to fight off the crappy guilt of 'ruining' the fathers life 😞

I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s tough.

The hard reality is you can’t change your BF’s feeling (morally they might not be right or you / I don’t agree) but you can’t change him you can only change how you feel. You can’t bank on him ‘coming round’ I would assume that he won’t.

You should consider all of your options. You are young and have not long left university. Having a baby will change your plans so be sure about what you do. This decision will affect the rest of your life.

You are NOT ruining his life. You didn't get pregnant on your own did you. And he's not a teenager, he's a grown man so I have no sympathy for him loading you with all the responsibility.
Only you can decide what to do next. No, I doubt he will come round, and having an abortion in the vain hope that he might could leave you feeling awful.
Northern spirit is right, I think you need to decide what you want, and what is practicable given your family support and your target career.

Whatever you decide, please do dump your worthless boyfriend.

I think whether do or don’t keep the baby, you need to say goodbye to the relationship. He should know that even with contraception there is still the chance of making a baby if you have sex. You haven’t ruined his life - he was a willing partner. He sounds selfish and this probably won’t change if he is willing to ditch you now. Sorry, .