Hate my unborn baby’s father!

[JellyBellyBoo]

I’m 9 weeks gone and currently going through hell. I’m suffering really bad morning sickness and mood swings. I can’t even bring myself to eat.
My partner and I have been together for 7 months (yes is all happened very quickly) but for the past 2 months I just don’t love him and get very angry with him. He makes me feel physically sick and the thought of having to see him stresses me out to the point where I have a breakdown. My family despise him and none of my friends approve. In the past 3 months he’s become horrible and violent and now I’m pregnant!! (I had a failed pill)
I’m now stuck making the descion of leaving him and having the baby or not? I’ve now lost my job after confiding in a collegue for help who told my boss.
Only this Saturday he was violent and hit me after I threw up in a restaurant because it smelt funny
I know this is not a good relationship but if I’m honest I’m terrified of what hell do once I leave him. He’s very controlling and stalking.
I just would like some help and advice. And has anyone had the same or simmiliar situation? And how did they deal with it? Thank you please help!!!!!

Firstly I'd leave and secondly I'd be thinking very careful about trying myself to him for the next eighteen years. There's no way I'd want someone like that to be the father of my child, for me they would deserve way better.

Ok, so break it down.

First of all, any man who hits you is bad news. Was it once, followed by a horrified apology or has it happened more than once? If more than once you already know what you need to do.
Then you need to take a long hard think about life as a single mum with probably a grumpy non-maintenance payer in the background. Think about your support network and how well you cope generally on your own. Be realistic about finances and so on. Talk to your mum. Only you can take that sort of decision.

What does your oh want you to do? Have you had a frank discussion?

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with it all at the same time. Morning sickness makes everything seem so much worse.

Get some sleep, get away on your own or go home to your mum for a few days if she can be calm, and don't rush any decisions. You have time on your side so take it slowly & don't let anyone bully you. These are your decisions to take.

For what it's worth, I'm on my own, it's bloody hard work and money is tight but I manage just like everyone else does.

Exactly what I’ve been thinking but people have been telling me I have no right to segregate the baby from him...

KC,
This is the first time he’s hit me and it really took me by suprise. After coming out of my first ever relationship with my ex who I was with for 4 years which turned sour towards the end I thought I’d never take abuse of a man again. There’s just not one good thing about our relationship but he fear of what he’ll be like after I leave him is what’s stopping me. But he just can’t see no wrong hitting me, especially when I’m in distress because of pregnancy!!

You have to leave for the wellbeing of yourself and the baby ASAP, he's becoming violent and it's not going to get any better just worse. You need to go back to your family it'll be hard to deal with the 'I told you so' but your going to need their support more than ever. He doesn't need to have any involvement in your life that doesn't relate to the baby and that will only come after the baby is born really as pregnancy is definitely a woman's burden! Everything is a lesson learned, listen to your family and friends in future they have your best interests at heart. Good Luck

You have every right to leave a man who hits a pregnant woman for being ill. Your and your dc's safety & security are way more important than his "rights"
Lollipop is right, time to head home.

Very sinple! He hurt you now he will continue to hurt you doen the line and it seems he doenst care! Leave him and protect your child and tourself too. You don't need a ma like this in tour life concentrate on yourself and your priority which is the baby you will have.
You say you lost tour job but it's not your fault font blame yourself for any of the mess. Can tou move in with tour family? If he is still stalking you can you not out an I junction against him?

Sounds exactly like my situation apart from I already have one other child from him .. and his a psycho hits me in front of my son even though we ain't together . Now I'm 10 weeks pregnant .. I went to get an abortion but he didt show up to watch his son so I couldt go he basically forced me to have it done. But his saying if I don't go in two weeks he'll beat the baby out of me . . I told him I ain't getting an abortion at 3 months but his just sending me abuse saying he'll kill me and all sorts I just have to ignore it .. his blocked off everything but emails me (not sure how to block on there ) Or calls me off private

Are you definitely keeping this pregnancy? At 9 weeks you still have options if you do not want to share a child with this man.

If you are definitely continuing, have you seen a midwife yet? Tell them everything you've told us, they can put you in touch with people who will help you - and you do need and deserve help, this is a terrible abs very risky situation for you and for any child you may have. Good luck with whatever you choose

If I were you, and knowing what I know now about how difficult it is to see my DC go to my abusive exes (something I will have to do for the next 13 years or so) - I'd be considering my options right now re the pregnancy, and getting some good advice and counselling.

I'm sorry if you/anyone finds that an awful thing to say.

Wishing you good luck either way OP

Leave the relationship and think very very carefully about if you intend to continue with the pregnancy.
You will be tied to this man forever if you go ahead, whether you like it or not. Don’t underestimate how difficult being a single parent with an abusive ex could be.