I think my daughters dad has turned his back on her

[coffeecoffeemorecoffee]

I’ve had a very up Dow on off relationship with her dad for the past 3 years. He was never the most hands on dad and hated family life and the running of a house. Before he met me he had always lived at home with his mum and dad. He used to say how his money was never his own because it all went towards bills or stuff our daughter needs (mine did too). He moved back home early last year and we split but then tried again but living apart. This culminated at Christmas with an argument in which he said I’d trapped him (Dd was planned) and that now he’s going to have to deal with me for the rest of his life. He sent a text asking for all his stuff back so I dropped it all off. I sent a message a few days ago asking for him to remind me of the days he wanted to see our daughter and I’ve heard absolutely nothing back. Just checked and I’d screen shot the message and turns out he was meant to have her a couple days ago and again today. I’ve heard nothing. I think based on everything he has said it’s fair to assume he’s washed his hands of her. Feel so sad for her, my dad did the same thing to me when I was a baby. I’m angry and this definately makes it easier to forget about him but my poor little girl

Phone him, or call round to where he's living.
Awful as it is, some men find it hard interacting with babies and small children, and if you can somehow help keep him involved with DD now, he might find it settles into an easier relationship as she gets older.
If he's living with his parents, haven't they said anything/ asked to see DD.?

Something tells me there's more to it than what you've outlined here, but it would normally be in DDs best interest for you to do help her maintain a relationship with her father. The fact that you and him don't get on isn't enough of a reason to deprive her, and he might not be mature enough to understand that right now. So although it might seem unfair, its up to you build bridges for your DDs sake. Don't close the door on him just yet.

Agree with Delphinium, as tempting as it is to conclude he is a complete waste of space & not worth the bother, the fact is your dd is entitled to know her dad if at all possible.

You may find that as she gets older and more able to play/converse with her dad, he may come round.

Plus keeping a civil channel of communication open with him will help you too. I'd grit your teeth, pop round one weekend, see him or at least his parents and perhaps suggest they may all like to see her on a Sunday afternoon or something similar.

I am not sure I agree with previous posters . Why does mum not only have to look after child 24/7 but have to chase him to see his Dd . I would probably text and tell him that he can continue to have a relationship with his dd independently of your relationship. But I chased my ex to see Ds all it did was delay the inevitable that he dropped out of my ds’s life

'Entitled' to know her father does not mean the OP chasing him around, knocking at his windows begging him to see his own kid. Why does it have to be a woman's responsibility to force a man to be a father to his child. I can't believe the first two posts. OP should not have to take on the task of trying to make this man a father.

So sorry to hear this op.
I can see both points of view on this to some extent but I think facilitating a relationship with the absent parent if at all possible is really important. I am a single parent too so I know how hard it can be when Dad doesn't seem too bothered.

The dad hasn't behaved well here but he may need some prodding to help him get his act together. You could send him photos or invite him over to see her perhaps. Personally I wouldn't give up on him as yet.
If he's still hopeless after you've tried to facilitate contact to the best of your ability then so be it. If that happens then when she's older and she asks you why you can then if you want to tell her with a clear conscience that you tried your best but he wasn't ( for whatever reason ) able to be a father to her.
Good luck to you.