I can't decide if it is fair/right to ask for more child maintenance

[purpleangel17]

Ex-H and I split three and a half years ago, my decision. He was controlling and emotionally abusive in the home but has largely let me be since I left except for griping about money.

We have 2 kids together and when we split I opened a Direct Pay account with the Child Maintenance Service. From the start he had maintained he cannot afford this amount and if I make him pay it he will end up on the streets. For various reasons I have let this go and accepted the lower amount.

However I am struggling and often have to ask him for extra money, which he gives me but then deducts off his next payment or demands repayment.

Currently he is meant to pay £490 based on his income and he pays £300.

The extra £190 would make a huge difference but I am scared he would suit his job and I would get nothing if I insisted on it.

What is fair?

Quit his job not suit!

He should be paying you the stated CMS amount. It’s upto him to live within his means and budget accordingly.

Honestly he should pay what they assess him for...and if he won't then you can ask them to collect (although this costs it is less than you are short by each month)

My ex is assessed as paying only £7 per week for our 4 DC,the allowances made for living expenses are quite generous and it's up to him to live within his means. Not up to you to take up the slack.

Your ex will be earning something like £37k assuming one overnight per week. Absolute nonsense that he can't afford to live if he HAS to fork out an additional £190 per month. Unless he has huge outgoings but that's not really your problem.

Get the CMS on his case and disengage from his shit. It's tough to start with but you need to show him that he's not in charge any more.

Yes he should pay the legal minimum. He thinks he can’t afford to live now . Just to point out he has the money to loan you . He does this because you allow it . Tell him if it is not increased next payday you will go back to cms.

I think he earns about £40k. His rent is fairly high as he rents a 2 bed with garage and garden. I think it is £900pcm. But he lives close to work so his petrol costs etc can't be high.
I guess I am just worried he will quit and I will get nothing or he will refuse to see the kids.

You aren’t responsible for the decisions he makes .i understand the worry about him qittting . Most don’t . Simply because he has too much to lose