Not happy...

[agnesnitt]

I asked the male to leave last week, and he came back at the weekend to spend time with our daughter. He seems to like the arrangement, but I have found that I do not like having him in the house. Not because I don;t like him, but because I can't deal with the turmoil it causes in my head and heart. I know I am being ridiculous, but I would rather he didn't see us at all, but I cannot and will not do that to either him or her.

When will this ever end? I'm fed up of feeling torn apart, but I can't get over anything because I have to see him on such a regular basis.

Agnes

Maybe arrange for a family member to be there instead of you,They still get to spend time together and you dont have to see him.

Oh sweetie

Could you arrange for like mum2 suggested, have a family member come over? Or even have a friend come over whilst he visits. That way you could sit in the kitchen with a cuppa tea and chatter away whilst he sees your daughter. That way you don't have to have him directly in your face, but you are still around - but keeping yourself busy.

I can kind of sympathise, although our situations are probably completely different. My first baby is due at the end of May and I have been left by myself to get on with things by my ex. He hasn't been in contact etc. I don't know what his plans are with regards to my baby. I worry every day that when she is born he will want to see her, and I'm totally torn in the same way as you have described. I don't want to stop him seeing his daughter, and I don't want her to not know her dad. But at the same time I'm also kind of selfishly hoping he'll just leave us alone. It's an awful way to feel, because it's such a different blend of emotions.

But I have said to myself that if he does want to see her then fine. He comes to see her at MY house, where I'll always have either family/friends about on his visits. That way he can see his daughter and I'm being reasonable. But at the same time I don't have to sit in the room with him loathing everything about him lol, I can go chat to someone and have a glass of wine.

Unfortunately having a friend or family member here isn't an option. He's coming here on the Friday night and leaving on the Sunday night. It gives them time to be together, and I appreciate that, I just really wish it didn't have to happen. There is absolutely no way I will let him take her anywhere else though, so I am a victim of my own rules really.

I just needed to moan about it to people who aren't in my circle of friends. It's a small circle and it overlaps messily a ot with his.

Heigh ho.

Agnes

Forgot to add:

Thanks for the thoughts though, much appreciated.

Agnes