Newborn twins and 1 year old

[Amy0]

Hello, I am so worried about what will happen when my twins are born I am only 17 weeks, around their due date my daughter will be just turning 1 (but twins usually come earlier) me and their dad are not getting on at all and sometimes he can be violent, he will then just leave but after a while want to come back and say how things will be different but nothing changes, he barely helps me with our daughter now either. So my main concern is how I will cope with a 1 year old and newborn twins on my own? I don't want to keep putting up with him treating me like shit just because I want him around to help but I'm just so scared to do it alone.

Firstly, you absolutely have to leave! He’s violent, and that will only escalate.
Secondly, you’ll cope. You’ll have no choice but to cope. You’ll have your three gorgeous children to help you through it. Do you have any family for support?

Hope you are OK OP. You could try contacting TAMBA (twins and multiple births association) as they may have volunteers who are able to help when the babies arrive. Also colleges that offer childcare courses often have students who would be able to help you as part of their placement.

What everyone else said.

www.home-start.org.uk/ may be able to help.

Thinking a bit further ahead. If you’ve access to a smartphone download hoop - it gives you a list of things to do with kids in your area (and you can filter for free events).

You also need to report the ncidents to the police. It will help safeguard your children . Ring women’s aid for advice too

Congratulations on your twins! I’ve got newborn twins and they are dreamy. You can and will sort this. It will be ok.

First of all as everyone else says get away from this man with the help of family/women’s aid/police. It doesn’t sound like he will be any help to you but even if he would be he is violent so he’s a no go. You must protect yourself and DC. This is worth speaking to your midwife about as they can help you.

Secondly, I would sort out help for when the babies arrive. Do you have family who are helpful? Could your mum/dad/sister move in/you move in with them for the first few weeks?
If not/in addition as above I would contact homestart/TAMBA.

Thirdly, I would do whatever you can do now to help make things as straightforward as possible when the babies arrive. If your big one doesn’t sleep well I would try and get them reliably sleeping through so you aren’t dealing with their night wakings. In terms of other practical stuff (decluttering, sorting cot, triple buggy, filling freezer etc.) i would start doing this asap. I had a straightforward twin pregnancy but was exhausted from about 28 weeks so don’t put it off. It’s easy to underestimate how knackered you will feel in a few weeks, it’s so much more full on than normal pregnancy in the third trimester.

Best of luck, it will be tough but you can absolutely do this.