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Paying for presents - what is usual?

2 replies

Casquetes · 17/12/2017 16:25

My DD came back from contact with her dad and told me something that troubled me. Not sure if this is usual thought, so thought I would ask.
Since splitting I've always bought the presents (within reason) DD wants to give her dad. DD has also bought me presents for birthdays and Christmas and I had assumed exH was doing likewise. Turns out DD has just been told that her dad has been taking money for all the presents out of her bank account (which he controls). Whilst he does put money into a savings account for DD, DD's other account is where her birthday and Christmas money from relatives is saved/transfered (even if she doesn't want it to be). ExH likes to be in control but always denies it.
To make things worse, while out shopping with ExH, DD was asked to find a present for her grandfather - she was being rushed and chose something quickly, only to find it cost nearly £100 - exH said he would pay half and DD felt pressurised to agree - thereby losing even more money from her account.
Is this usual or fair? Should I do something, even if only to tell DD not to buy me presents?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 17/12/2017 16:37

Noooooo, that's awful! That's her money. Presents are completely separate and you buy her's from you and he buys them from him.

ClareB83 · 17/12/2017 17:19

That's outrageous! Esp the grandad thing!

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