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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Xp has just told me to get a job instead of expecting him to.

26 replies

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 14:59

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

misdee · 21/04/2007 15:03

arent you lookign for a job though?

why are youe expecting him to get a job? i'm confused.

Quasi · 21/04/2007 15:07

Why don't you both get a job?

fireflyfairy2 · 21/04/2007 15:10

Does he want you to get a job as then he thinks he won't have to pay you maintainance???

What a loser!

DeviousDaffodil · 21/04/2007 15:12

What is the issue here?

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 17:54

Sorry, had to go cos my brother turned up.

Basically, I told him I am sick of him using his lack of money as an excuse for not seeing the kids, or taking them out.
His mum gave him £50 the other week and did he come over and take the kids to the park ? NO

He said that all i ever say to him is to get a job and grow up, but he can't start having the kids properly until he is working so what is wrong with me saying that ?

Quasi - I am looking for work, but it is a damn sight harder for me to work as I am bringing up 3 kids on my own, one of whom isn't yet at school.

Basically he thinks that if I am not working then why should he.

OP posts:

charliecat · 21/04/2007 17:56

He doesnt need money to take them to the park.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 17:57

Meant to add that as part of being on jobseekers he has to prove he is looking for work, but all they ask him to do is write down 3 ads a week that he has rung up or applied to, but thats it, they don't check has rung them or applied, but so long as he has written them down, then thats fine.

OP posts:

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 18:00

Oh I know that CC, try telling him that. All he needs is £3.00 cos he knows I would pay for the kids bus fare, but he isn't bothered.

He stromed out of here today and then i found out that he had promised the kids earlier that he was taking them down the road to the play area, so i rung him and asked him if he had promised that and he said NO, but both Dd's told me exactly the same, at which point he said, oh well i must have said it then.
I said, so you are letting them down again then, and he said yeah well thats your fault for always moaning at me.

I've told him he now cannot see the kids here at all, so if he wants to see them he will have to provide the money to take them out.

OP posts:

charliecat · 21/04/2007 18:01

Shame on him

RedLorryYellowLorry · 21/04/2007 18:03

He sounds a right loser Sorry but he does need to grow up so you're right.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 18:05

Don't apologise redlorryyellowlorry, you are right.

It just makes me so mad, that when I got with him, we bent over backwards to have his kids overnight each week, brought a house we couyldn't afford so that we had room for them to stay and had them every week without fail, wether we could even afford to do a food shop that week or not.
Now though with out 3 he just doesn't care.

OP posts:

RedLorryYellowLorry · 21/04/2007 18:14

Does he make an effort for anyone? Do you think he's sinking into depression or something. He should want his children to look up to him. He'll regret being a feckless waster but doesn't sound like he cares at the moment. Nutty, I think you should just concentrate on getting to college and bettering yourself and your children's lives and don't let him pull you down.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 18:33

I don't think he is depressed no, i think he is a cocky tosser who thinks he can get through the rest of his life by doing as little as possible and that includes seing his kids.

I don't think he will change even if he does get a job tbh.

I have tried so hard to keep the contact between him and the kids going, but I have had enough, i'm not going to bend over backwards for him anymore. If he truly wants to see his kids then he better start funding it all himself because I am not prepared to have to sit with him for an hour a week or fornight when he doesn't even hardley speak to the kids whilst he is here.

I am determined to get a job and/or go back to college and will prove to mykids that at least one of their parents is prepared to work to make their lives better.

OP posts:

RedLorryYellowLorry · 21/04/2007 18:38

Good on you He's not a great role model is he?

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 18:39

God no, never was tbh.

OP posts:

Swizzler · 21/04/2007 18:40

Good plan NM: you sounds like a great role model

Swizzler · 21/04/2007 18:41

sound (sorry, went all rural there!)

LucyJones · 21/04/2007 18:41

Does he still see his other kids?

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 18:47

Yes he sees his other kids still, but they are grown up now, and have jobs and cars so they go to him, so no effort on his part.

Thanks swizzler and lol at 'went all rural there'

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 18:48

Message withdrawn

LucyJones · 21/04/2007 18:50

are his kids interested in their siblings? Why don't nay of tehm go with him and pick them up and take them out fgs!

Aimsmum · 21/04/2007 19:02

Message withdrawn

twinsetandpearls · 21/04/2007 19:10

has xenia not been on here yet

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 21/04/2007 19:24

Haven't a clue Cod, wish to god i had never met him.

His kids don't come and see the kids either no.

OP posts:

littlemissbossy · 21/04/2007 19:25

on your behalf Nutty
you're right, he is a cocky tosser
IMO you have to just get on with things without him and I appreciate that being on your own with 3 children is really really difficult - but let's be honest, you're never going to be able to rely on him are you?

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