Best friend disinvited to an outing because I would of had to bring DS

[Amber5099]

My friends don't want to be around me when I have DS my best friend invited me to go out with her to get some food in the afternoon for her birthday and I asked if it was alright to bring DS and she doesn't want him there so she more or less disinvited me and I'm not sure what to do I don't have any friends who have kids and I'm not sure what else I can do
DS is only 8 months and I'm a lone parent and as my parents work full time I have DS 24/7
I'm a shy person and find it hard to make friends or talk to people so I come across quite awkward I'm fine one to one but say if it were a group thing I wouldn't really say anything

The only thing worse than being lonely is being around people who make you feel alone.

^^this - be kind to yourself OP and cut these people loose. They aren't friends xx

Not much of a best friend then. I would look at trying to join some groups that are aimed at mums of young babies and hopefully find someone who does understand that babies are there 24/7 and you can't just drop everything to go out and do something anymore.

That's really awful. I'm in a group of largely child-free women (including myself), but we've done lunch with kids, had drinks round at the house of friends with kids if they can't get babysitters; hell I've even been to a hen party (country retreat) that a 2 year old came to! You do what you can, and who wouldn't want a cute baby/kid around to provide some conversation? I don't want children myself but I really can't understand the logic/joylessness of people who can't even bear a child in their vicinity.

oh that is so shit Amber x
I remember when I was a single parent of two under twos, and received a wedding invitation from one of my 'best friends' that was in the West Country and clearly stated no children. I mean wtaf!!? I have hardly seen her since and my children are grown up now.
Can you join any mother and baby groups? I am not saying you will meet your new best friend there, but at least there will be people who understand exactly where you are at.

Have you got a children's centre near you? None of my friends had kids when zi had my eldest either. Children's centre was my absolute lifeline.,

As hard as it it to accept, bringing a dc changes the dynamics of a lunch /meet up. Not saying they were right on how they treat you tho!! Ask your HV about child friendly places in your area and set out to meet some new ones. Have you tried the Mush app? You can have 'shy' as one of your description points and meet like -
minded dms!

Well it sucks for you but it's her birthday and she doesn't want to spend it with an 8 month old. If she has kids maybe she wants some child free time. If she doesn't then maybe she can't see the appeal!
Find some more friends.

Can I suggest you find groups where you are doing something rather than watching them crawl round it can be easier to chat..

I am afraid some people don't want kids coming along. It is really tough..look up Lone parent groups too.

I was expecting your DC to be an 'energetic' or 'challenging' 7 year old.

No one worth their salt disinvites someone for wanting to bring an 8 month old to a daytime event (it's not as if the plan was to go clubbing). 8 months is weeny, yes they cause a bit of a distraction, but it should generally be presumed that where a parent goes, an 8 month old may well come too.

Your friend is behaving like a shitbag.

I'd get yourself some understanding mum mates

Thank you there is a Mum and baby group near me which I'm planning on going to
I'm just abit fed up with all my friends and the way they treat me
She knows I have DS 24/7 and don't get why she even invited me in the first place when she knows I can't drop everything and go out whenever she pleases
She always complains to me about everything and i try and give her advice she never listens and complains about the same thing over and over
She makes me feel so crap about everything
I get out when I can with DS but I want abit of friendly chat too not keep bottled up and with 0 true friends I have own Mum she great at getting me out taking me places but I'm lonely and she's not here 24/7

He's also great when he's out he just looks around him and only cries if he's hungry

He might be great but your attention will naturally be on him. Your friend wants a relaxed grown up meal.

Obviously I don't know where you are but if you were anywhere near me I'd love to meet a new friend, have a coffee and bounce a baby on my knee.

Your friend is not much of a friend at all.

Honestly it's better to seek out friendships with people more like you ie young, sole parents. Looking after a baby is hard work, you need all the support and kindness possible.

Though when it comes to listening to problems, people generally don't want advice, they usually just want to moan. I put up with a bit of moaning but when it's repeated ad nausem, I'm out.

Thank you that's all I would like is a friend that understands and just go and have a cuppa
I find it hard though I know there is younger parents than me I'm only 19

You def need Mush op, you can advance search dms your own age!!
I was a young dm (17)and it is a bit harder to kept your original friends when you are at different stages in your life.