Ex who is joint owner coming inside the house to pick up kids & staying for chat & “cup of tea”

[Cla1regettingdivorced]

I am separated have decree nici & waiting for court date. My ex was not well after we split up as he couldn’t cope with the idea of it - so was out of the house for several months and picture but will not respect my wishes to stay in the car to pick up the children & he is coming in to “his house” (it’s joint on mortgage although I’ve been paying it for years) so can I keep him out of the house as he is getting involved in arguments when he is here and it’s going back to the disruptive times when he was here all the time and I’ve had over a year of stability. He won’t accept my list of splitting half term access and 3 weeks each over summer hols and him having boys every other week and he is turning up more and more. My financial hearing will hopefully be in next month or two ,, but I just want some stability in meantime and he is not the type at all to respect my wishes he came to bonfire party in garden when I asked him not to . I’ve had 14 years of being controlled and over a year of peace and now feel it’s starting all over again - my friends and parents are sick of this too

I am assuming you are receiving legal advice.I would check with them but I would change the locks,

Have the kids ready for contact and pop them to the door..Happy wave and off they go.

Is he turning up unannounced? if so text him..Tell him you will not be answering the door when he turns up unannounced or get solicitor to write a letter stating this if he will listen to him more than you.

He still legally owns half the house so says I can’t stop him coming in but it’s so hard to say no to him and I’m just trying to keep things on an even keel until the decree absolute and the financial settlement is sorted .. I’m in an impossible situation he hasn’t got a key as I have changed the lock but he just comes in when I open the door and thinks it’s normal to have a chat and a cuppa . He knows it’s over but he has issues etc & one of our boys is just like him. Yes I have a solicitor but she’s mainly doing financial

Is there anyone on here who knows the legal situation about if I can legally stop him coming in and where the ruling is written down so I can do something to stop him,, thanks

Agree with previous poster. Have DC ready to go and when you open the door don’t open wide, and keep your hands firmly on the door and door frame so you are physically blocking the door. Alternative is to have kids ready, and send them out as soon as you see his car pull into your line of sight and close door before he even gets out of the car. You could also pretend you are leaving at the same time so he has no reason to come in for a cuppa if no-one will be there.

I think there are a number of things you can do to make him unwelcome without getting into a push and shove at the front door ..... have the kids ready to go so he has no reason to stop, if he still comes in just don't make him a cup of tea - you haven't got time as yore on the way out, you've run out of milk - just don't do it

Good luck, I know it's hard. My ex used to like coming in for a good snoop around so I used to have him in the house fprnas little time as possible. Lots of chivvying kids along with coats and bags so they were out the door and he had to follow them