Advice on how to deal with an unreasonable ex

[Henbird]

Hi all - I am looking for some help on how to handle my ex. We have been divorced for 5 years (his choice). He sees the DCs regularly and I have never stopped him from doing so. If he wants to swap childcare for a weekend I will do if I don't have other plans, they go to his family events with him etc etc. However he really resents paying me child maintenance - he pays bang on what he should and I dont get spousal maintenance (which is fine by me). He has a nice lifestyle and is not living on the breadline.

He will regularly have a go at me for various petty things - lately its beeen me catching a taxi when coming back from a friends house, me taking the kids away and spending money on them, me asking to go with him to a hospital appointment with my DC.

I feel like I accomodate most things he asks for regarding the DCs because I know they like to spend time with him, but all I get in return is an earful for the way I live my life and look after the DCs (who seem happy). Can anyone share any coping mechanisms or advice?

Your exhusband is legally required to pay child maintenance under the Child Support Act and he needs to understand this.
Your acting as if your still married to this man.
Do not discuss any aspect of your life with ex unless it is relevant to the children. In fact if there is no reason to see him or talk to him then dont.
If he tries to dictate to you how you should live your life. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you are no longer married and you will live your life as you see fit. It none of his business any more. Stand up for yourself .
All the best

Stop sharing is my advice..

Well thats none of your business is the other answer.

He might not like paying it but he is legally required ot so roll your eyes..Got anything new to maon about..Put it all back on him

If he is going to be like this you need to detach from him completely.

Tell him nothing.

My xp only very rarely even comes in my home now - it is my nature to be friendly and accommodating, but he used this all too often as a weapon against me. So now he is out and cut off.

He still does good with dc bu no longer has any access to me. Last lot of abuse I had was 3 days worth, when I asked him to calculate the minimum child support he was due to pay - before then he had been paying much less.

Thanks all. More than happy to detach myself from him just don't want the kids caught in the middle but tbh I think thats where they are right now. I will stop sharing right now!

That is the beauty of detatching - the middle just kind of dissolves. the "sides" disappear as there is no engagement. With no sides there is no middle. Once you detach and stop engaging on any thing other than the blandest of terms, he will be shouting his criticism into a void at no one.

take a google of "grey rock technique" also.

Thanks RebeccaBunch - grey rock technique sounds like it would work.