Looks like i'll be a single parent of twq

[mustbemad17]

So, 12 weeks pregnant. Living (should I say was living) with baby's dad. Got a text message today whilst at a birthday party with my DD basically saying he's leaving me, he's too depressed & needs to sort his life out...doesn't want me to contact him! But he will 'support the pregnancy & the baby if I decide to continue'

Fucking coward. I'm fuming. And in tears. And terrified at the prospect of doing it alone again. I've no job, no money coming in. Saving grace at least I still have a roof over my head. Feel like an utter fucking failure right now

Try to be as calm as possible. Has he got anxiety about another baby and just coming to terms with in in a really bad way? If so just give him space and let him work it out. If he's an arse in general then again just give him space and he can realise what a twat he is. Also if so you're so much better off without him to deal with at this time.
Focus on you and your child and cut him out of your thoughts. I know it's hard but don't contact him he can have an internal dialogue with himself.
Sorry

Think he's using it as an excuse tbh. I reckon people have said to him about the age difference between us & he's started taking it to heart. Shame he didn't think about that before we moved in etc etc.

Well it doesn't sound like he's particularly mature if he lets that bother him. Don't contact him - he'll expect you to. Let him stew and use the energy saved coming to terms.

I won't be contacting him, told him not to bother & that's that. My DD had a jack in the box dad there's no way this baby is having one too.

Hi, i'm in a very similar situation to you. I've got a little boy age 5 and me and my husband have been having difficulties over the last year or two. Mainly because he didn't want any more kids and I did. A couple of weeks ago we decided to end things between us and a week later I found out I was pregnant. I am six weeks at the moment.
He has also been struggling with depression and really want to sort himself out and was worried that because he can't take care off himself at the moment he wouldn't be able to look after a newborn. I can understand what he's saying. At first I wondered if I would be able to continue with the pregnancy.
And I met with a friend of mine who had a similar experience last year. She put my mind at ease about things and I realised this could be the very best thing from my little boy. This could be the only chance he gets to have a sibling, which is what I've always wanted for him. I've come to the decision that I can't and won't rely on my husband for anything and I'm going to do this completely on my own (with the help friends and family). I'm now very excited (and terrified!) about what's to come in 2018. Just take one day at a time my lovely. I'm here if you wanna chat xx

Thanks for your comment Green, i'm sorry to hear about your issues too 😔 I always said I didn't want any more kids; my relationship with DD's dad was horrific & he made the first year of her life hell for me. It put me ofd because although i'd always wanted more kids, I was terrified of this exact thing happening. My partner was different - so I thought. I guess when it comes down to it you never really know. I'm terrified that i'm not going to be able to cope; I have no family here, very few friends around. It's going to be a lonely time & that scares me. But my DD is really excited about becoming a big sister & it isn't the kids' faults, so I need to put my big girl pants on xx

Ok well you are definitely not a failure. If your ex oh chooses to be that's up to them. Don't let their failings taint your life. You've done it before, you'll do it again if you so choose.

Let's face It, they couldn't have chosen a more cowardly way to back out. Galvanize yourself. Yes it'll be tough sometimes but you already know you're up to it.

for the sad days, for the nights and for the hard times. You know we'll be here and I'd hazard a guess you have a friend or two on your side.

It can be tough, that’s true. It’s a different dynamic to the perfect two parent family we all envision. But lone parents also have an amazing and special bond in its own right.

Thanks both. I know I will have to get my head round it, I don't have a choice because I don't want my kids suffering because he decided to be a jerk.
The cowardice of it has really hit me. How do you go from declaring somebody the love of your life, talking about marriage etc to not even being able to man up & speak to them?

How are you doing today?

Up & down. Spent a lot of time crying!! He literally hasn't spoken to me bar replying that yes, he will be at the first scan on Monday. Still trying to understand the complete 180 in how he is treating me 😔

Thank you for asking...I have accepted that he isn't coming back so that's one hurdle I guess

One thing is you need to claim child support when baby Is born. He doesn't get to opt out of that.

Yeah i'll be doing that once baby is here. I'm hoping that the way he is with his other kids is an indication that he won't completely disappear, but after the weekend I can't say hand on heart that he won't 😔

I went & signed on today, not where I wanted to be second time around 😔 Thankfully my advisor was lovely & told me very frankly that my ex is a wanker 😂

Now to start the job search!!