Cafcass

[SGIB14]

OK I am new to this but i didnt know where else to turn. I need advice from Mum's that have been through the same thing. My Ex has taken me to court for access to our just turned 3 year old, who he hasnt seen for 6 months now. My son was always upset and saying things like 'no like daddy' after visits to his dads and so I was advised to stop contact by my solicitors. So weve been to the first court case, the judge gave him indirect contact through letters which he hasnt bothered with and told Cafcass to make a section 7 report. They have contacted me today to say I have to go to see them and I have to take my son along too as they want to speak to him. He is 3! Ive also, through gritted teeth, remained positive about my son's dad so if they talk to my son the likeihood of him saying positive things about this dad is high. I dont want this to go against me as I have worked so hard to protect my son. Help please!! Any advice, anything. I'm totally stressed out now!

I would just be honest with them and in what you say focus on the best interests of your son. When people get into criticising the other parent particularly about things not related to parenting it can come across that contact is being stopped to get back at the partner. I would tell them though that the dad hasn’t done the letters and explain while he hasn’t seen him for 6 months.
Also cafcass are trained and experienced in working with young children so try not to worry about that part.
The courts are very focused on children seeing both parents so unless there’s a safety reason I’d be prepared for some level of contact to be agreed.

I don't think a father failing to write letters to a three year old is likely to be taken into consideration. Nor is a two year old saying "No like daddy" and it does sound like it was the OP who stopped contact and the father has immediately taken her to court.

Unless there's a major drip feed coming the father should be having contact, and the courts are likely to order that.

Sorry I should have noted in the first message. There has been a history of domestic violence and the violence acts continued in front of my son towards other people after our break up. Which is why the contact was stopped. The dad has also admitted to taking drugs in the first court case which is why it was court ordered for just letters while cafcass assessed the level of safeguarding that needed looking at. I guess I need to just keep hoping cafcass and the courts can see I'm not being malicious I'm just trying to protect my boy.