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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Moving soon & I'm so scared

28 replies

Themessyone · 10/04/2007 21:26

Decided to go our separate ways 10 months ago, but H refused to move out & we put the house up for sale.
We have lived together but not together since then & have just had to get on with things. We have kept things as normal as possible for the boys & it has all been a very surreal situation.
Our house sold before Christmas & I am buying the house at the beginning of the chain, which all works out perfectly. All in all it is good news really.
However, with just weeks to go before this big move, I am feeling very scared & upset. It is tough enough moving house, but suddenly becoming a lone parent at the same time is just a bit too much for me right now.
I know that I have made the right decision, but I am finding this final stage really really tough.

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Imawurzel · 10/04/2007 21:33

Where are you moving too?
Have you checked out the area??

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 21:34

I have been quite together, but now there are only weeks to go, I am feeling very down about everything. I am scared of going it alone.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 21:35

I am staying in the same town & know the area quite well. I am just feeling very scared & daunted by it all.

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tribpot · 10/04/2007 21:38

Messy. There are many upsides to this move. For starters, you can unpack at your own pace, and have things untidy for a while (or in my case permanently) without criticism from H.

Your dses can feel comfortable and able to be themselves.

You have proved yourself a resilient and determined character this year, there's nothing about a move than can overcome you (even if you don't feel it yet).

Moving is tiring, frustrating and stressful - basically that's just a given, so it's a question of just pushing on through. You can't be forced out of your current house until your new one is ready, so if you need to take a bit of time to have your plans in place, so be it.

We shall overcome! Really!

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Hilllary · 10/04/2007 21:41

Themessyone, I understand how you feel, I too moved 100 miles awyay with my two dds (both under the age of 2) I'm a lone parent and have no family around me.

Its not too scary honestly, just look at it as an adventure, an exciting new start with new scenery and new locations to find.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 21:47

You sound very brave, Hilllary!

I have been coping with everything quite well believe it or not (know you have me blipping a lot on here!), but now I only have a couple of weeks left I feel scared & tearful.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 21:50

Trib - thanks! Hope your move goes well.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 21:56

I have been having real trouble sleeping & basically getting myself all knotted up about all this.

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Pinkchampagne · 10/04/2007 22:47

My boys world is about to be turned upside down.

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colditz · 10/04/2007 22:49

they won't be anywhere near as unsettled as you are.

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Caribbeanqueen · 10/04/2007 22:52

Write yourself a list of all the positive things about moving/starting again/being with the boys on your own terms and keep it where you can look at it every time you have a wobble.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 22:52

Ooops, messed up again! Not sure why I keep changing my name now though. Think I just like to keep my regular name away from my deeper issues in life!

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 22:54

Been very wobbly over the last week or so & don't know why. I guess I am scared of the huge move I'm about to make.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 22:56

I do appreciate that things will (in some ways) get better for us, but it is big, scary & sad right now.

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Hilllary · 10/04/2007 22:56

Dont worry honey it will be fine, pre moving nerves are horrible but you wont have time to feel anxious or tearful when you are in your new home, you will be overwhelmed(sp?) by your new life, thats what it is a new life a big breath of fresh air, you will make new friends and new beginings.

A change of location is good for the sole, you can be in the same place for too long, a new home in a new town brings happiness.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 23:11

Thanks, Hilllary, you sound very brave, I'm not!
I am not moving out of town, but moving to a new house & at the same time I am becoming a single parent. I am more petrified than I can explain!
Some people who don't know what a big wuss I am, think I'm brave, but I am not brave at all, I am petrified!

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Hilllary · 10/04/2007 23:13

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 23:13

One day it will be better, but it is the getting there that's hard.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 23:14

Thanks, Hilllary.

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Themessyone · 10/04/2007 23:18

Don't know how I will survive with no internet connection for the first few weeks following my move!

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miniandme · 11/04/2007 12:13

Messy i used to be loobiemac so youll know who i am
Cantbelive you are here already trust me dolly your time is coming !! yes the move will be hellish for a little while but one day you will turn around and realise that in the middle of all this chaos and cafuffle you and the boys dont have no one getting on there case and neither do you !!!!
Remember the night i showed you my sitting room with the toys lying about and the ironing piled up ready to be done on the end of the sofa,that will be you babe before you know it and you will look back and never belive you managed to survive so long in what you have!!!!
Hat off to you ,you done it and you got you and yours boys out of there well done,the struggle will all be worth it i promise xxx

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lizziemun · 11/04/2007 12:51

I haven't posted on any of your thread but lurked. Do you think thatthis may be part of the greiving process, as in the end of your marriage moving to a new house and new life.

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Themessyone · 11/04/2007 20:27

Hi there miniandme, didn't realise you had changed your name!
I do know that this huge move I am making is the right move, I know I couldn't possibly go back & am know that one day things will feel better...but right at this very moment in time it feels so tough.
Lizzie - I think I am going through the whole grieving process right now. I get sad when I see any of our wedding photos or hear any of the songs that featured on our wedding video.
My sister is off to Thailand in a couple of days with BIL, and she comes home around the same time as I begin my life in my own house as a lone parent. I can't help but feel a little down, even though I am happy about my house at the same time & think things may work out ok in the end.
My heart breaks for my two boys as I see both of them laying with their daddy of an evening watching TV.
I have just put away DS1's drawing pad & seen a little picture he has drawn this evening, which has the words "I love daddy" above it. He has been doing lots of this kind of thing just recently.

This is just the biggest, most frightening thing I've ever done, and in just 3 weeks time I will be leaving this house to start a new life alone with my boys. I am really scared!

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Themessyone · 11/04/2007 20:37

I'm sorry for that deep miserable post. I am having a bad few days!

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Themessyone · 12/04/2007 14:39

I am feeling a lot better today. I think I just get the odd moment where everything seems a bit much & I lose it a little.

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